Everyone knows that violence is not the best way to solve a problem, and it should be resorted to only in the most extreme cases, when a person understands nothing but force. Not everyone has the muscle mass or the ability or desire to physically hit a person, so many prefer to hit a different kind. Learning how to morally humiliate a person is not difficult: you need to find his weak points and know several humiliation techniques. The main rule in this technique is to show your superiority over the "victim". It is not necessary to insult or call a person names, carefully select the content of the phrase. How? How to humiliate a person morally, simply by showing him where his place in this world is, and where is yours? The easiest way is to humiliate a person with the help of words, because they have great power: they can offend, heal, give or take away hope, sometimes even kill. So, let's take a closer look at how to humiliate a person morally with words.

Find the enemy's weak point

The first thing you should pay attention to if you want to know how to morally humiliate a person, on his shortcomings, any - physical, spiritual or mental, that is, to find weaknesses. You, as the humiliating party, must be completely free from this shortcoming, otherwise humiliation will lose all meaning. First, you can say this to a person directly, in private and follow his reaction. If he looked offended, then to consolidate the effect, repeat the same words in public, it is better if it is with your mutual friends. In public, you should not express yourself openly so that accusations of tactlessness do not fall on you, it will be enough just to hint. You can also joke about the shortcomings, not meaning a specific person, but so that he is nearby, and it becomes clear to everyone that this concerns him.

Even if the meaning of your joke does not reach someone around you, the person you are trying to humiliate will feel 100% out of his element, and this is exactly what you wanted. If your enemy seems almost perfect to you, and you cannot find any visible flaws in him, do not despair, it does not happen, keep an eye on him, and you will definitely see some kind of his mistake.

Fix result

How to humiliate a person morally, so that he does not forget about his humiliation for a long time, and constantly feels it? Well, you showed the person how bad he is, thereby humiliating him. Now let's imagine that he came home and, surrounded by friends and relatives, immediately forgot about you. The question arises of how to humiliate a person morally with words in such a way as to leave a trace in his soul. The best way is to connect other people. Come up with a sonorous nickname that reflects well the appearance or person, tell it to friends and acquaintances, most likely they will pick up the idea.

Now your enemy will hear a new insulting nickname everywhere, and will not forget about his humiliation for a minute. It is better if the nickname is not banal, then it will tightly cling to the enemy. Here's how to morally humiliate a person at any age. You should not persuade people to call a person by his nickname, just in a side conversation it is enough to call him exactly that word, and if it is witty and funny, then at first the nickname will spread in conversations where its “happy” owner does not participate. Then the person will be called so openly. I think now you have no questions left about how to morally humiliate a person. But while practicing, think about it, are you doing the right thing and are you any different from your offender? ..

Initially, the article was not conceived as a tutorial for losers: offended, humiliated and offended, who secretly or clearly feel sorry for themselves and hate other people, want to take revenge on “everyone” and find out how to humiliate, insult, “send” a person with words, preferably culturally, smartly and beautifully, without a mat.

A wise and harmonious person in the soul cannot be humiliated, insulted and offended (“sent”) with words, because they do not take offense at the truth, and a lie does not deserve attention.

This article is still about how to use the psychological counterattack ( psychological judo, aikido or sambo, if you like), i.e. how to resist insults and humiliation, rudeness and offensive words, how to react (or not react) and how to respond correctly, culturally and beautifully, of course, with words without a mat, to those people with a low I-position who want to humiliate, insult, offend you ... (i.e. they want to elevate themselves by humiliating you - they are, to put it mildly, without harmony in their souls - they were also humiliated earlier by someone who was stronger than them and to whom they could not correctly answer insults and humiliation, keeping insults in their souls, and now, working them out, they take revenge on others - don't be like them... learn how to communicate without conflict... read this article carefully).

Remember! No one can humiliate, insult or offend a person with words - only he himself, subconsciously interpreting the conflict situation not in his favor. What beliefs and ideas you have about yourself, that is who you are ... and no insulting, offensive and humiliating words can belittle you ... i.e. you belittle yourself by paying attention to the bad words of another person ...

The power of the word, or how to “humiliate”, “insult”, “offend” (“send”) a person with words without a mat

Words in a query how to "humiliate", "insult" and "offend" ("send") a person enclosed in quotation marks, because in reality, we won’t humiliate, insult, or offend anyone ... we won’t “send” either - this is the lot of losers with a negative life scenario and disharmony in the psyche (soul), in which grievances and other negative emotions are accumulated, breaking out in the form of revenge.

These words are used in the article only because there are too many similar requests on the Internet, i.e. a huge number of people have accumulated grievances in themselves and want to vent them (work them out), and without realizing it, drive themselves into a vicious circle of aggression and conflicts, primarily against themselves and with themselves, which in the end will have an extremely negative impact not only on relationships with other people, but also on their own mental health, and on their whole life in general ...

With all this, many want to humiliate, insult and offend a person, “send” him, a man or a woman, a guy or a girl smartly, beautifully, even culturally, and, of course, without a mat ... (apparently, he still “breaks out” ...) . Those. an illusory goal is to get "pleasure", "gloat", to laugh at a humiliated and insulted person who is confused, confused and fell into a stupor at the moment of a psychological counterattack on him - to feel displacement - while not upsetting his moral convictions ("without mate"), and even amusing them ("smart", "cultural", "beautiful" ...).

However, these people do not understand or do not realize that not every laugh prolongs life, and that they will not elevate themselves at all by humiliating and insulting another ... that they, in fact, will become the same as the one they offend, i.e. . disharmonious personalities with an underestimated position in life.
And as you know, everything in the world returns to normal (like this person whom you insulted and humiliated - you "returned", and you will be "returned", if not him, then someone else - such is the nature of life).

How to morally "humiliate" a person with clever words without a mat

Insults, offensive and humiliating words are often perceived as psychological pressure on a person, and therefore as stress. It is known that the negative perception of stress (not stress itself) significantly lowers a person’s intelligence (IQ), and with it rational memory along with vocabulary, so some people begin to speak obscenely - a few words, but how many meanings ... and most importantly - emotions ...

Therefore, in order to morally "humiliate" a person with clever words without a mat, first of all, you need to learn how to quickly relieve stress, or calmly treat it.

And if at the moment of a psychological attack on you you remain unperturbed, do not fall into confusion, stupor and stress, feeling like a “victim” emotional attack, then you will retain your intellect and the acquired knowledge about conflict-free communication and methods of psychological counterattack will “emerge”, i.e. you can calmly, intelligently, culturally and beautifully morally “humiliate” a person with clever words without swearing and unnecessary emotions.

How to "insult" a person so that he is silent, without a mat

It often happens in a conflict situation that the opponent constantly speaks and says something abusive, insulting and humiliating, with appropriate gestures, raised tone, and facial expressions, i.e. exerts psychological pressure, which often leads to stress.
Of course, many want to know how to "offend" a person so that he shuts up(shut up).

Because a conflict or pre-conflict situation presupposes a dialogue, i.e. alternating conversation between two or more people, then you will need psychological counterattack techniques (some psychotherapists and psychoanalysts call this psychological judo, aikido and even sambo).

The essence of psychological counterattack(psychological sambo - self-defense without weapons), as in ordinary, physical martial arts, this is the use of the enemy’s strength against him, with a minimum expenditure of his strength, in this context, psychic energy, and not literally offend a person so that he shuts up.

Those. here you must first "succumb", as if to "humiliate yourself", "offended", in order to then deliver a psychological counterattack. But not so that your opponent loses and fails, but so that both "win" - otherwise, as mentioned above, everything will return to normal.

For example, if heavy, wet snow presses on a branch, “wanting” to break it, then the branch does not directly resist, does not resist, wasting its strength - it bends, as if humiliated ... gives in down, and the snow under its own weight (“force”) slips off it and does not break the branch.

Also, the sambo wrestler, with physical pressure (attack) on him, uses the inertial force of the enemy, applying the technique throws him over himself and drops him to the ground, while practically not wasting his strength.

Very similar techniques and techniques are used in psychological sambo (psychological counterattack), i.e. in the event of an emotional and psychological attack on you (insult, humiliation, offensive words…), you, as a sambo wrestler, need not to resist and confront directly, but, on the contrary, confusion, a dead end ... (and then he, you can say "your" - control this person and manipulate him as you want) ...

But not for the sake of revenge and gloating over the "offended" enemy, but for the sake of justice, balance (congruence) in relations, and, possibly, for cooperation (to the extreme - compromise) and a way out of the conflict situation.

How to "offend" a person with words

Phrase how to "offend" a person with words, as you already understood, we will use in the context of psychological self-defense (sambo), without exceeding its limits ...

Remember! Each person is responsible for his own thoughts, emotions and behavior, and each mentally healthy person can control his negative feelings, such as resentment, irritation, anger, and the corresponding behavior in the form of defensive aggression, including verbal (verbal)...

This is easy to check, for example, if a husband gets angry and insults, offends his wife - he seems to be unable to contain his anger - “bullshit” ... firstly, she is simply initially weaker, secondly, she allows herself to be offended. Most likely, this aggressive husband will hold back the same anger in front of his superiors or the police - they are stronger for him and will not allow themselves to be offended - the husband understands this, which means he controls the situation ...

However, the subconscious desire to get rid of internal negatives gives rise to such a protective reaction of the psyche as "Displacement" ("Movement"), which can be expressed in "vicious circle" anger and aggression.
For example, the boss “offended” the husband ... the husband, in order to work out the negative, can offend his wife with words and behavior ... she, in turn, will offend the child ... and he - the domestic dog .... the dog will go for a walk, and there ... the husband’s boss - she is his , for some reason, it will bite ... (this is again to the fact that in life everything returns to normal) ...

Therefore, instead of literally offending a person with words, you can use psychological counterattack techniques (sambo), even if you have a boss or another person who is obviously stronger than you...
("twist the ropes" it is possible from a strict boss and from a despotic husband, and from a tyrant parent ... but we are not talking about that ... we are talking about psychological self-defense ...).

How beautiful and culturally "send" a person, without a mat

How sometimes you want to “send” (you know where) an annoying partner, an obsessive client, an annoying boyfriend, a stubborn friend, an overly demanding boss, an eternally dissatisfied subordinate ... or another person. But the internal "moral code" and the external "administrative" force one to restrain oneself and suggest thinking how to "send" a person without a mat beautiful and cultural.

To understand how to culturally send a person, in the context of psychological self-defense, i.e. literally without offending, offending or humiliating him (otherwise he will take revenge later ... maybe not you ... remember about "our own circle"?), we need to proceed from who is in front of us and what result we want from interaction with counterparts.

So, how beautiful it is to "send" a person, based on who is in front of us and what we want from him:

• If this is the boss, then we want from him ... probably ... to be less demanding and critical ... or maybe a salary increase ... or the implementation of our idea ...
• If this is a subordinate, then, on the contrary, in order to work better and fulfill their duties ... do not “beg” for an increase in salary and in the service ...
• If this is a business partner (in business), then, probably, good trusting and honest cooperation, without “pulling the blanket” on yourself ...
• If this is an obsessive girl or boyfriend, then to “fuck off (a)” ...
• If a friend, then so that he not only listens and hears himself, but also others ...
• If this is a too strict or overprotective parent, then in order to begin to understand his teenage child ...
• And if this is a child, ours or whom we are raising, teaching, then to be obedient and diligent, probably ...
• If this is a seller, then so that “the leftist does not sell” ...
• If a client or a buyer, then in order to buy a product or service ...

We meet many different people in life, many different situations, including conflict situations, can arise in interaction with these people. Our task is not to humiliate and insult a person, with or without a swear word, but to answer correctly and wisely (psychologically counterattack) without harming ourselves and him ...

To clearly and automatically master these techniques of “psychological sambo”, training (practice) is necessary, as in ordinary martial arts ... otherwise, even knowing how to answer, but having entered stress and confusion in a specific conflict situation, you will simply be confused and forget all your knowledge - you need skills, and they are given by practice and practice again ...

Further, you will learn in PRACTICE (with examples from life) how to intelligently and beautifully respond to insult, rudeness, rudeness and humiliation with the help of techniques and techniques of psychological self-defense (counterattack) - this

There are times when we see the only way to stand up for ourselves in the ability to offend the interlocutor. It is worth recognizing that this method is not always justified, and, at times, can even lead to negative consequences. But still there are situations when it is very difficult to do without it.

There can be many such situations, and we will consider some of them in more detail.

Important! Before offending someone, you need to familiarize yourself with and find out: what the consequences may be, who should not be insulted in any case, what is considered an insult in the law, etc.

self defense

When someone allows themselves to speak offensively in our direction, often, we "boil" in response. Few people manage to restrain their emotions in such a situation and ignore the attacks of an aggressive interlocutor. Of course, if a person has managed to achieve the highest degree of self-control or simply cannot decide on an offensive response, then he is able to ignore negative words addressed to him. And yet, more often than not, holding back is not easy. How to do it right in such cases, you can read in our article.

Defense of the weak

There are situations when we cannot help but pay attention to the fact that someone allows himself an insulting attitude towards another person. It is especially unbearable to watch this when a spouse, your child, a shy girl or even an unfamiliar pensioner falls under the shelling of offensive words. In general, aggression awakens in many of us when a weaker person suffers, who finds it difficult to fend for himself. Of course, in this case, the injured party needs protection, and, undoubtedly, will experience a deep sense of gratitude, having received it.

Animal protection

This point is somewhat similar to the previous one, but the difference is that this time we are talking not about a weak person, but about an animal. Some of us, seeing, for example, how teenagers torture a cat or a drunken person kicking a dog, try to pretend that they simply do not notice what is happening, but the majority still cannot look indifferently at the suffering of the “smaller brothers”. Of course, in this case, insults on your part will be more than justified.

How to morally humiliate a person without a mat

Not each of us is able to humiliate a person without resorting to swear words. However, if you learn this, then you can say that you have mastered the art of the most "subtle" insults.

Clever phrases to shut up a person

If you want to put a person in his place, with some kind of veiled insult, take note of a few phrases.

• Open your mouth at the dentist!
• Usually those who do not succeed in their own climb into someone else's life.
• Do not fall under a hot hand, so as not to fly away under a hot foot.

Cool and funny insults

Such insults can seem cool and funny not only to the person who utters them, but also to the person to whom they refer. However, it all depends on how touchy your interlocutor is. If he is too sensitive to the slightest hint of insults and overly vulnerable, then, of course, he will not be funny in this situation.

• Yes, close your laugher already!
• Stop waving your tongue like a parade flag.

Offensive sharp phrases

If you want to offend someone with a caustic and offensive phrase, then apparently this person really managed to hurt you and you crave. Of course, in no case should you show that you are offended or angry - in this case, you will not achieve the desired effect. Speak sharp phrases in a calm tone, which may well be accompanied by a slight smirk.

• Looks like the stork dropped someone on the way. And not once.
• You would have been taken to the Kunstkamera while still alive.
• Another similar phrase, and you will have to move in jerks through life.
• You should consider saving nature by sterilizing yourself.
• It must be hard for you to love nature, after what she has done to you.

How to culturally send a person by calling witty words

You may well offend a person, even being with him on “you”. To do this, it is not at all necessary to switch to obscene words or direct insults. One witty phrase is enough. Therefore, you can even say that, in this way, you will send a person culturally.

• Are you leaving already? And why so slowly?
• I'm too busy a person to pay attention to your complexes.
• Shock me, say something smart at last.
• It seems that you have not passed youthful maximalism.
• You should be silent more often, you would pass for a smart one.
• I hope that you are not always so stupid, but only today.

And yet, most likely, you understand that in the case when we insult someone else, it is quite difficult to talk about any level of culture. Often such conversations simply roll into an ugly squabble.

Play on his weaknesses and complexes

If the situation develops in such a way that you have to insult a woman (we note that these are still the most extreme situations), then, of course, you can play on her complexes. Most often, the weak point of a woman is her appearance. Even if she does not show that your words somehow hurt her, most likely, you will still achieve the goal - she will remember what you said and it will disturb her. It is also worth noting that some men can also be offended by mentioning them. appearance or physical parameters. Although most often a male representative can be offended by mentioning his unenviable mental qualities, most men react quite painfully to these remarks. Lists for men and women.

So some examples:

• Alas, you cannot save the world with beauty. However, the mind too.
• Woman, you are not so beautiful as to be rude to people.
• Just looking at you, I can believe that man actually evolved from a monkey.
• Don't worry, maybe one day you will say something smart.
• Where did you learn how to do makeup in the style of Valuev?
• What, no one wants to get married, why is she so angry?
• Is it really tight? Well, at least try to spread the bone marrow.
• It is immediately obvious that your parents wanted you to run away from home.
• The truth is that the brain is not everything. In your case, it's nothing at all.

Create long-term systematic pressure on the enemy

Important to remember! Systematic psychological pressure on a weaker person, his persecution, harassment and humiliation is called. Such behavior is unacceptable and sharply condemned in society.

Naturally, in this paragraph we are talking about psychological pressure - the influence on the interlocutors, which occurs in order to change their psychological attitudes, decisions and opinions. Often this method is used in situations where, for some reason, you cannot openly be rude to a person, but you are also unable to not react to his behavior in any way. So, what types of psychological pressure exist?

Moral pressure

It can also be called humiliation, which is expressed in the desire to morally suppress the interlocutor. Systematically, you point out some feature of a person, even if your words are not true. Thus, you intentionally sow complexes in your opponent. For example, you can always hint or directly tell someone: “How stupid you are,” “You are very clumsy,” “You still need to lose weight,” and the like. In this case, it becomes difficult for the interlocutor to control himself, and if at first he practically does not pay attention to your words, then later they begin to seriously offend him. It is important to note that this technique is appropriate to apply to people who suffer from self-doubt.

Compulsion

Such a method can be used by a person who is endowed with some kind of power - finance, information, or even physical strength. In this case, the opponent is not able to give a worthy rebuff, realizing that in this case he may suffer financially, not receive the necessary information, and so on.

Belief

This kind of psychological pressure can be called the most rational. By applying it, you are trying to appeal to the logic of a person and his mind. This method is applicable to people with a normal level of intelligence who are able to understand what you are trying to convey to them. A person who tries to act by the method of persuasion should select the most logical and evidential phrases, not allowing doubts and uncertainty in his tone. It is important to understand that as soon as the "victim" begins to notice any inconsistencies, the force of such pressure will begin to weaken.

suspension

In this case, the person makes an attempt, as it were, to “starve out” the interlocutor. You are trying to put pressure on someone, but when they try to convict you of this, then you step back or move on to other topics. You can also, in response, accuse the opponent of inventing everything, twisting it, and so on.

Suggestion

This method of psychological attack can only be used by a person who is somehow an authority for his “victim”. One way or another, you are trying to inspire something to the interlocutor, speaking in hints or directly.

Is it permissible to use obscene names and curses

Of course, we are not always able to control ourselves and cope with ourselves in peak situations, but you should make every effort to achieve this. If it has come to the point that you do not see any other way but to get nasty to a person, then try to do it subtly and beautifully. As they say, there is no need to stoop to the level of “bazaar women”. Of course, if you could not restrain yourself and switched to the mat, then there is nothing to be done, and yet try not to allow this, and put the person “in place” in other ways.

It's not that you can injure the interlocutor in some special way with obscenities. It is simply believed that a person who has "descended" to obscenities is not able to defend his opinion in ordinary words - to some extent, this is how we demonstrate our own inadequacy. Of course, it’s another matter if you, in principle, always communicate with the abundant use of swear words, but this is a completely different conversation.

How to learn sarcasm using cheeky funny words

Having learned to use bold and funny expressions to the point, you will surely be able to gain fame in a close circle as a person with a good sense of humor and mastering the technique of sarcasm. But it is important not to forget that insolence can be fraught with consequences, and with such phrases you can provoke the interlocutor to an unpredictable reaction.

• Go, lie down, rest. Yes, at least on the rails.
• It would be possible to offend you, of course, but nature has already coped for me.
• Nobody scares you, you will be scared at the mirror.
• Your mouth could use a stapler.
• Well, I rang the chain, now go to the booth.

Learning the art of sarcasm

And yet, it is important to note that people who can express themselves in a sarcastic form do not always use this skill, trying to offend or humiliate someone. Often, sarcasm sounds when some non-trivial situation is commented on - then it looks funny and organic.

It is almost impossible to comprehend the art of sarcasm for a person whose vocabulary is not particularly diverse, and whose horizons are rather limited. That is why it is worth reading and learning more. Type in the search: "Authors who write with humor." As you yourself understand, in any case, truly “sharp” phrases are made up of words, the variety of which you can easily draw from intellectual films and books. By the way, examples of some witty phrases can also be seen in books. As a last resort, learn sarcasm from people who make a living from their jokes - we are talking about the participants and hosts of various comedy television shows.

If you want to pass for a really witty person, then do not repeat the mistake that many beginner pranksters or people who think they are are. Having heard or read some interesting joke or funny expression, they periodically repeat it in order to make the interlocutor laugh. The first couple of times it can be really funny, but after a while people start smiling just out of politeness, and that's for the time being, for the time being. As you understand, it is simply unacceptable for a master of sarcasm to be associated with someone with a broken record.

If you want to be rude beautifully, then it is appropriate to use phrases that your interlocutor probably has not heard yet or those that he will not immediately orient himself with a witty answer. In this case, for sure, you will look more advantageous. So, perhaps some of these statements will seem appropriate to you.

• If these beeps continue to come from your platform, then your dental staff will have to move.
• Are you sick or do you always look like this?
• You would now stray into a tube.
• Pay attention to the plinth so as not to forget about your level.
• I would laugh at you, but life has already done it for me.

We consider possible consequences

Entering into a skirmish with an aggressive interlocutor, it would be foolish not to take into account the possible consequences of this step. You must understand and be prepared for the fact that you will have to move from words to deeds if, for example, you threaten someone physical violence. If the opponent provokes you to further actions, and you simply start ignoring him, then all your threats simply lose their meaning. Of course, it can turn out differently - a person will be frightened by your words, and will shut up. However, you must be prepared for different developments if you still decide to enter into a conflict.

When not to use insults

All your "pungent phrases" and "beautiful insults" do not make any sense if you decide to use them when communicating with an insane person. So, what kind of person can be called insane. First of all, this refers to the interlocutor who is under strong alcohol or drug influence. Surely, such a person will simply not be able to appreciate the subtlety of your insults - he simply will not hear them, or he will react inadequately, even if your words are not too offensive. It’s really better not to mess with such people, even if they are trying in every possible way to offend you. Your task is to completely leave their field of vision, and not enter into a senseless conflict. If a drunk person offends a weaker one, then, of course, you need to help the offended party, but verbal skirmishes are unlikely to give any positive result.

In any case, if you are sure that in the current situation you can do without insults by solving the problem in some other way, then it’s better not to go as far as cursing. It is possible that later you will have to regret your incontinence. As we have already mentioned, it is appropriate to take this step only in case of protection (of yourself or a loved one). If you yourself initiate such conversations, you will very soon get a reputation as a boor and brawler.

Of course, every person has experienced Everyday life with rudeness, hearing swear words and swearing addressed to him. Even if you accidentally step on someone's foot in a trolleybus, you may be offended. Agree, it is very insulting when, because of a trifle, a rude person calls you indecent words. It would seem that he should be answered in the same form. However, take your time. Profanity in this situation is a bad helper.

Don't answer rudeness with rudeness

Try to put the person in his place in a "peaceful" way, without humiliating him.

Don't know how to insult a person without swearing? Then this article is especially for you.

It is not uncommon for situations when, after the words “You are the last beast!” or "Oh, you bastard!" a man pounces on the offender with his fists. He does this because he simply does not have the slightest idea how to behave in a civilized manner in such a situation.

Remember that the manifestation of aggression only leads to nervous depression, poor health, and sometimes thoughts of suicide. It is for this reason that everyone should have information on how to insult a person without a mat.

Know that impudence and impudence must be answered with beautiful, dignified, and most importantly, wise phrases.

What is an insult

Before continuing with the question of how to insult a person without a mat, let's define the very concept of insult. What it is? And this is nothing more than deliberate infliction of insult, as a result of which the honor and dignity of a citizen are humiliated, and this is often done in a cynical form. Even actions that have a negative connotation, such as slapping, spitting, pushing, can be regarded as an insult in certain situations.

Currently, a huge number of psychological techniques are known, through which the problem of how to offend a person without a mat is solved.

Your task is to find out why your offender fell upon you with abuse, and, of course, you must have a worthy response prepared in advance for swear words.

How to respond to an insult

How to smartly insult a person if you were accidentally or intentionally scolded?

First of all, you do not need to interpret swearing literally and take words to heart. It is possible that your opponent is just in a bad mood, and you fell into his “hot hand”. He may have been ill-bred, but this omission is not your fault.

Remember that people with an eccentric and scandalous character often cannot cope with negative emotions that suddenly swept over them, so they “break down” on others. Perhaps they also offended someone. And is it worth getting angry at such people? In addition to pity, rude people do not cause anything.

The universal variant of behavior here is not to pay attention to the insulting words and taunts of the opponent. Imagine that they are not addressed to you.

If your manager or an employee of the company in which you work is rude to you, then it is better not to provoke the development of a conflict situation, but to try to smooth it out. Well, arguing with the authorities does not make sense at all.

How to respond to the offender depending on the type of criticism

Before parrying the offender's phrases, you need to mentally analyze them, and if they have a "rational grain", then there is no need to dispute this fact. It's better to say, "Yes, you're absolutely right!" If, after insults, you get the impression that you are being slandered, while you have absolutely no idea how you can insult a person with words, but in a civilized form, then ask him a clarifying question.

In particular, if we are talking about any flaws and mistakes that you are accused of, while they know that you are not involved in their commission, but they still try to denigrate in this way, then it is better to ask the following: “Do you have a specific proposal in solution to this problem?" Believe me, this question often puts people in a stupor.

If constructive criticism is fair, but only partially, then, of course, it should not be fully recognized. For example, if you were told rudely: “You always don’t come to work on time!”, But at the same time you know that this is not so, then you can answer: “Yes, I was late today.”

There is a completely logical question about how to offend a person with words, but delicately, if his criticism is absolutely unfair. In this case, it is recommended to ask a response question directly related to the specifics of rudeness. They may be different. Let's consider them in more detail.

Clarifying

You can respond to attacks and barbs like this: “Why exactly are you interested in this?” What is the subtext behind your words? Why do you think so?

These questions can simply discourage a person, but this does not always happen, and sometimes the interlocutors begin to give detailed answers to them.

Actual

Such questions provoke the offender to speak specific facts and give examples. These include, in particular: "Give an example" or "Name a specific fact." If the offender reacts as follows: “You can bring a huge number of them ...”, then you should not continue further dialogue - take a long pause.

Alternative

Questions like these are designed to help the opponent express their real reasons for dissatisfaction. For example, you can ask him: “Are you annoyed by my lack of punctuality or what clothes I wear to work?” And believe me, the answer in most cases will be "sincere."

devastating

These questions are asked so that the offender expresses all his claims and does not pester you with them in the future.

These include, in particular, this: “You are unhappy with the way I talk to clients, how I dress, how I make reports. What else am I doing wrong?"

Of course, each person begins to be tormented by the question of how much to offend a person after he has been scolded, and even in obscene form. However, we emphasize once again that responding to rudeness with abuse is not a way out. Believe that your offender is waiting for this to get on your nerves and upset your mental balance. So don't give him that pleasure.

As a rule, in such situations, one should show maximum calmness and composure, and not think about how to offend a person to tears.

Often, hearing critical remarks addressed to him, a person begins to look for excuses for himself: “No, I'm not like that. It's not about me. You are unfair to me” and so on. Of course, this model of behavior is wrong. By justifying yourself, you thereby belittle yourself and put yourself in a position of guilt. In addition, your excuses in most cases are practically of no interest to anyone. All the more stupid to "bleach" one's honor in front of a person for whom to humiliate or insult someone is the same as drinking a cup of coffee in the early morning.

As emphasized above, you must understand the true motives of the offender's behavior and determine why he scolds you.

How else to respond to an insult in an intelligent way

As a rule, in order to upset a person with a "word", people use standard templates. If you do not want to be caught off guard in this way, then you should have an elementary idea of ​​\u200b\u200bhow to insult a person in a smart way. At your leisure, take a piece of paper and a pencil, and then make a rough list of these expressions. You just have to think about the "worthy and polite" answers to them.

For example, if a rude person declares that after a fun feast you look unpresentable, then you can offer a solution to the question of how to insult a person in a smart way, namely: “It’s amazing that you didn’t go to any party yesterday, but you still look" not like a pickle", for some reason. Look at the bruises under your eyes."

You can parry offensive words by translating negative qualities into virtues. Suppose you hear: "You, as always, do not stop talking, rattling like a magpie." In response, you can say: "I'm just a sociable person, unlike some." Agree, a good example demonstrating how to insult a person in a smart way.

To calm down the offender, you can remind him of well-known expressions such as "We are not judged by ourselves" or "We are what we think about." Even if a person does not understand the meaning of these sayings, you must explain to him that in an attempt to desecrate your personality, in fact, he will speak foul language against himself.

In any case, to get out of sensitive situations with dignity, there is no need to be rude.

You will need

• If we do not set ourselves such tasks, but only want to be better understood and take into account our opinion, then it will be useful to get acquainted with the basic concepts and basic techniques of influencing a person. NLP, or Neuro Linguistic Programming, will help us with this.

Instruction

Stage 1. Determination of the leading system of human perception, that is, the system that is dominant in the knowledge and perception of the world by a person.
Experts define three main ones: auditory, visual and kinesthetic. With a dominant auditory system, a person perceives most of the information by ear - “hears”; when visual - perceives images - "sees"; with kinesthetic - actions - “does”. In the vast majority there is a mixed system, that is, the dominant one is supplemented by an auxiliary one. For example, the "auditor" often supplements his perception with images: "hears the sound of the endless blue sea."
How to determine the dominant system of a person? He will tell you about it himself! For the verbal (verbal) expression of one's thoughts and desires is peculiar only to man. So, if a person, turning to you, says: “Listen to me!”, This is not only an indication of his leading auditory system, but also an invitation to communicate with him precisely within this system, that is, he wants to be heard. If he says, "Look at this!" - this means that he perceives the world with his eyes, and for him the surrounding images are the main source of information about the world. When he suggests, "Let's go somewhere?" - this means that for him the action is a familiar and comfortable state. These are the simplest, but if you are more attentive to the statements of the interlocutor, you will find a lot of nuances in the manifestation of his dominant system.

Stage 2. Adjustment. Adjustment is necessary to create a comfortable atmosphere and mutual understanding with yours, which must understand that the dialogue is being conducted in a “single coordinate system”. Many conflicts and misunderstandings occur precisely because people operate in different categories and do not find a semantic platform for dialogue.
So, you carefully listen to the interlocutor, according to the moderator words, determine which system is leading. Listen for nouns, adjectives and verbs. What more? How does a person describe people, phenomena? When you understand which system is leading, you can "adjust". You begin to use in your speech approximately the same words and definitions, and antonyms, exclamations and speech rhythm as your interlocutor. It will be quite difficult at first if your system is not "related". With some practice, you should be able to easily reach the desired level of fine tuning. For initial practice, listen to the conversations of your colleagues or people around you, speeches of politicians, celebrity interviews, etc., analyze them, identify the leading system. Try to write the text of the response speech, formulate questions for this person.
It is important that the adjustment is reinforced by other methods as well. First of all - adjustment with gestures. The most effective way is "mirroring". For example, a person sitting in front of you, closed his hands. Close you too. He crossed his legs - throw you too, only the same as the interlocutor. If he straightens his hair or looks at his watch - “mirror”, but not immediately and clearly, but after a while. In other words, you let him know that you are “one of you”. In addition to gestures, you must take into account the rhythm of breathing and speech, the volume of the voice, intonation, and much more. Let your interlocutor open up, and you will learn much more about him than perhaps he knows about himself.

Stage 3. Impact. So, you have identified the leading system of your interlocutor and understood in what “language” you should communicate with him. Start influencing. If you want to make a request, a wish, a demand, rely on the same operator words that he hears, sees, and accepts for execution. At the same time, use gestures familiar to him, intonations, speech speed and features of expressing your emotions, only your message should be somewhat strengthened: slightly sharper gestures, slightly higher intonation, etc. You can choose the manner of bringing your wishes to the consciousness of your interlocutor yourself (calmly, aggressively, imploringly), but in any case, this should take place in his “coordinate system”. Once you understand that your message has been accepted and your counterpart is ready to communicate, we move on to the final stage.

Stage 4. Anchoring. This technique can be defined as "consolidation of the material covered." As soon as you understand that you are “on the same wavelength” with the interlocutor, you need to consolidate what you managed to agree on. Even if it was not possible to agree, the anchoring technique will allow you to “remind” about your conversation next time.

The most effective in the anchoring technique are tactile sensations, “anchors”. There are a lot of ways, and they are chosen based on the situation and the level of relations with the interlocutor. For example, when walking with an interlocutor, at the end of the discussion, slightly squeeze his hand just above the elbow, or squeeze his palm between your palms. It can be a special sound, for example, a light clap, some special gesture of yours, a look, that is, something that will associate the topic of your conversation with you, it will be your personal sign. This sign should not be intrusive and should be in the "coordinate system". For example, if you were "seen", you should not say "we'll call you" or "we'll meet."

Next time, activate your "anchor": take the interlocutor by the elbow, remind him of the essence of the conversation in his "system of coordinates", continue communication on the wave on which your interlocutor was comfortable. Soon your requests and wishes will be fulfilled, and you will understand that you can successfully achieve your goals without scandals, reproaches and insults.