How to tell metaphors

Of course, metaphors can be told anywhere and everywhere. In addition, it is worth understanding that some places for metaphors are better suited than others. For example, one of the worst places for a metaphor that I know of is the Moscow metro during rush hour. It is very inconvenient to tell tales in a crowd, with strong shaking, and at the same time yell in her ear. On the other hand, it is possible to create an "ideal" space for a metaphor in which this metaphor will be best internalized.

Let's start in order.

Metaphors are best told in a place where a person can relax, and where he will not be distracted by different cars and beggars. For these purposes, an apartment where you are alone, a cozy cafe with separate booths, various places of cultural recreation with secluded benches are suitable. If you are in an apartment, you can put quiet, meditative and calm music in the background at a low volume. For example, the works of the composer Karunesh are very good, an additional advantage of which is that it is sold in any "esoteric" places in Moscow. For additional entourage, you can light scented candles or incense.

Further movements are best kept to a minimum, telling the metaphor from beginning to end. Therefore, make sure that mobile, pagers and friends are turned off for the next 10-15 minutes.

The metaphor is best told in a calm, low (chest) voice, at a fairly low speed of speech and quite quietly.

Before you tell and even construct a metaphor, answer yourself: Why are you making this metaphor? Why are you creating it? What do you want to achieve for yourself? Of course, “just because” answers are also possible, but the exact awareness of your actions will be much more useful.

And finally, in order to tell the metaphor in the best way, you yourself must be in a calm and relaxed state.

Chapter 37

In addition to constructing metaphors, there is a constructive state of laziness. This is fine. Too lazy to think, I want ready-made solutions. That is why it is worth preparing a few “blanks” of metaphors yourself and using them when the time comes. A blank is a metaphor “without frills”, that is, a brief meaning of the metaphor in several sentences. During the story, dissociations, multimodal descriptions and other tricks are added to taste.

But besides that, I give a couple of big, beautiful metaphors and a few typical blanks.

It is clear that it is difficult to explain how metaphors are made on the fingers. Therefore, below I will analyze in detail, with an indication of each technique, a working metaphor. This metaphor was born on the spur of the moment during one counseling session. The main purpose of a metaphor is to solve a certain issue that is very important for a person. Let's start. Comments on the metaphor are given in square brackets.

I want to tell you a very interesting story that I learned from my spiritual master some time ago. [The use of dissociation. I am not inside the metaphor, of course.] This story is rooted in the deep past of our traditions, in the days of pre-Christian Rus'. People then lived in tribes, and these tribes were united into clans. . [Creating the scene of the metaphor. Additionally, implicit dissociation is used by the method a long time ago.] People somehow lived, spent time, hunted, several times a year big holidays were held. [Somehow - using a generic language] So people lived for many years, filled with unity with nature and their own, special way of life. [The use of value is oneness with nature.] It helped people that each of them was engaged in the business that they liked the most and each was a real master of his craft. Blacksmiths forged magnificent armor and tools, jewelers made jewelry that was incredibly appreciated all over the world, women made clothes, hunters and tillers got food for everyone else. [A little more writing the world with a link to values] People lived in harmony with the world, and the wise wise men who lived in every tribe of the Russians provided them with great help in this. [Consecutive transition to new characters. Note that magi is also a use of a generalized language. Like jewelers, blacksmiths and women a couple of sentences ago]

Each person could come to the sorcerer for advice, and the sorcerer always answered in some way. [Generalized language in all its beauty. "Everyone" and "somehow", note] Sometimes it was a direct answer or advice, sometimes an instruction to do some kind of ritual, sometimes the sorcerer told some story, sometimes he just asked the person to do some kind of task. People left the sorcerer with answers to their questions. [Here, at the same time, the installation is used to solve the problem and options for choosing actions are given] People who have achieved special recognition in their tribe, recognized masters of their craft, who enjoyed universal respect, could once a year come to the sorcerer with a very important question. [Smooth approach to the creation of the main character] These were no longer simple requests for advice, these were questions that meant a lot to these people. Maybe they were questions about the meaning of life, maybe they were appeals to higher powers, maybe it was something else, I don't know. . [Again the trick "fig knows how, but it works"] I know how it happened when it happened, and it happened a very, very long time ago. [At this point, with the help of chatting, the trance state deepens]

One day, one of the respected people of the tribe came to the sorcerer and silently sat next to him by a blazing warm fire, silently looking at the red changeable fire, listening to the crackling of coals and the sounds of a cool night. [Very vague protagonist, respected person. Generalized language and multimodal description used] So some time passed, during which the person freed his mind to perceive what would happen a little later, exactly when the person was ready for it. [Some, exactly when it is ready - a generalized language. Additionally, there is an indication of the perception of further actions within the metaphor.] When the sorcerer saw that the person was already ready for what was to come, he asked that person to take several very deep breaths, each one a little deeper than the previous one. [At this point, a generalized description of the action, "what is going to happen" is given. Then comes the deepening of the trance state through the deepening of breathing]

The sorcerer asked this man to introduce himself from the outside, and waited for the man to do it. [Using additional dissociation. Plus, it turns out to deepen the trance this way] Then the sorcerer suggested that a person imagine his life, from the current moment to the very beginning, first what is now, then a little earlier, then go through the times of youth, childhood, go through his birth, realize what was once before his birth this man was part of his father, and his father was once part of his father, and this father was also once part of his father…. [aggravation of the trance state with the help of chattering] And so this man observed the line of his kind to the very first man, to his forefather. Each of us had his own forefather, progenitor, founder of our family, and this man also had him. He looked from the side at himself, who was in front of his ancestors - his forefather and his foremother. This man began to ask his forefathers his question, to ask it through dance. He somehow danced his question, expressing it through his movements. [Creating a visualization and working on expressing the question through imaginary movement]

The wise ancestors understood this question, and as an answer they gave some kind of symbol, which in some way answered the person's question. [Problem solved. Fuck knows how, what a person dreamed of, what kind of meaning - it doesn’t matter. This symbol answers the question, do you understand?] This answer could come immediately, it could come after some time, it could come in a dream, and usually this answer came on the fine line between sleep and wakefulness, when a person starts to wake up, and is still sleeping. [There is a call to the fact that the answer is sure to come. It remains only to choose how it happens] The man thanked his ancestors, and watched as he himself returned along the line of his kind back to his current state. Then the man thanked his sorcerer for helping him to pass this way, and went to himself, taking a little time to think. [Gratefulness to oneself for finding the answer is an important part of working with the unconscious. And of course, at the end of the metaphor, we return the person from the trance]

Example 2: Great something. Zen Wisdom for Bedtime Reading (Metaphor for Trance Induction)

Teacher, what is a day?

Same as night.

What is night?

Almost the same as day.

What is the difference?

Nothing exists at night.

Why does Nothing exist at night?

Nothing can be seen at night, so it is there in its entirety.

Why watch Nothing?

This cannot be done. Nothing can be understood. Nothing can be seen, Nothing can only be perceived.

To do this, you need to give up trying to understand it. If you look for Nothing, it will go away. If you relax and say to yourself "I will not look for Nothing" - it will go away. If you know about Nothing, it will become What.

So what to do?

You already have Nothing. It is possible to live. Having lived Nothing inside of you. You can live the Nothing of your desires and thoughts. Having known the Nothingness of thoughts and desires, one can perceive the external Nothingness and achieve unity and harmony in the manifestation of the internal, external and Unknown. Having known the Tao of Nothing, having perceived the manifestation of Zen through this Nothing, you will guess that this Nothing is a part of the Nothing of our nature. Having known the Nothingness of nature, you will know the unity of the Nothingness of the planet. The Nothingness of the Planet is a part of the Nothingness of the sun and moon. Part of Yin and Yang, light and dark, the development of two sides and the opposite of varieties connected by one thread. Having perceived this, you will touch the Nothingness of the universe.

What is it, teacher?

All this nothingness is part of NOTHING.

At that moment, another student joined the conversation, who had been listening attentively to the conversation from the very beginning.

Teacher, how then to determine the true Something?

What is true for you?

Objective reality, perceived by me.

Objective reality? Why do you need her?

This is the truth, teacher.

Why do you need truth?

If I know the three truths of an event, I know the event.

Right now I am ready to tell you three of your truths that will help you in this matter.

I listen to you carefully, teacher!

First truth: I am what you call a teacher.

The monk bowed.

Second truth: you listen to me.

The monk bowed again.

The third truth: having learned three truths, you will know one event.

The monk bowed very low and drew in his imagination a prayerful Buddha with burning eyes, after which he left.

The teacher continued the conversation with his students.

Teacher, one of them asked, why have we been given Nothing?

It is only by freeing ourselves from what we have that we can realize how much we can learn.

In this metaphor, a trance is constantly induced with the help of confusion, moreover, in almost every line. In addition, a direct suggestion for learning is given at the end.

Example 3: a fairy tale about a watch (blank)

The purpose of the metaphor is to change the perception of time, replacing the girl's state of "little time" with the state of "there is a lot of time for you."

Once lived hours, walked, worked. But at one moment the minute (hour) hand fell off. The clock stopped counting minutes. At first, the clock struck in a panic, because they did not know what time it was exactly. Then they got used to it and found peculiar charms in this state.

Example 4: metaphors for arousing sexual desire (blanks)

The purpose of the metaphor is to arouse sexual arousal in a girl.

Have you never been on a swing? You sit on the swing, make the first push, swinging smoothly, getting used to new sensations, and gradually increasing the pace, up and down, up and down ... Gradually, a feeling grows in your body that is comparable to delight, which grows, reaches a maximum ... (replace the swing with horse - same result)

Once upon a time there was a keyhole. And one winter it froze. And cringed. Many keys tried to get into it, but could not enter. But then a very special magic key appeared, which first warmed the well, it expanded, warmed up. Then he added magical lubricant, entered it, and turned until it clicked.

Example 5: a metaphor for a calm attitude towards a large number of your girls (blank).

Purpose: To make it clear to the girl that you have a lot of girls, and this is normal.

Once upon a time there was a rose who actively dreamed of her future. There was a lot of everything in this future - both a prince on a white horse, and other thoughts that for a rose can only mean dreams. And one day she met a gorgeous bumblebee who was just gorgeous. And they talked, he flew every day. And one day this rose found out that this bumblebee flies every day not only to her, but also to many other roses, gargoniums, geraniums and other flowers. At first, rose wanted to no longer communicate with this bumblebee, but after a while she realized that it was better to enjoy communicating with this magnificent bumblebee once a week than never communicating with him.

conclusions: many other examples of metaphors on various topics are available on the forum of the lover.ru project (http://forum.lover.ru), it is difficult to place them inside this book due to the large volume. So read the forum, there is a lot of delicious.

Chapter 38

First, let me tell you a story about a man who did everything wrong.

Once, my friend Hypnotherapist and I participated in a country party of one company. There were about 50 people present, some of whom were men and a certain number of women.

Not all women were sexually attractive, but some aroused frivolous thoughts. Before our eyes there was one action, stretched for 4 days. A Man (m) and a Woman (F) were involved in this action.

Physical description: M: about 30 years old, bald head, fairly tall, slightly overweight, interesting "Play with me somebody" metamessages and a strange talent for causing disgust. Russian version of the Iranian from the back. This person dresses very badly, speaks disgustingly, he has problems with diction, non-verbalism is wretched to the point of horror. She is quite sweet, pretty, has a good figure, a smile. I came to the party alone, that is, without an ensemble. Appearance - about 7 points out of 10. Metamessage "I want sex, but I'll break." Easily goes to any verbal contact.

Development of events, day 1.

The people gathered in one place, the organizers made an incendiary speech, the process of getting to know each other took place. At a moment in the late afternoon, Zh. was unlucky enough to run into M. It turned out that M. knew the company where Zh worked. A conversation began about work, although Zh. was VERY insistent about the fact that she had come here to rest. It seems that Zh.'s innate politeness did not allow M. to be sent on an erotic journey on foot, who over and over again conveyed greetings to Zh.'s employees. This action lasted about an hour. For some reason, my friend and I decided that soon the woman would send this man very far, and then one of us would play in contrasts. On this cheerful thought, we went to sleep in different rooms :). It seems that M. and J. then danced a few slow dances at the disco and went to bed. Falling down doesn't mean having sex.

Interesting development, day 2.

On the second day, the same training began, because of which the people gathered at the party. M. and Zh. sat side by side at the pioneer distance. There was no strict kinesthetics, but they constantly worked in the same group. M. obviously actively participated in the training, but did it excessively inadequately, which constantly switched cruel disposals to him, which caused wild laughter at M. A sinful deed, I did the same. The consequences of these events were that the public unconscious began to mock M., that is, a group of people included this person on the ignore list. J. stayed with him constantly. At any attempts of people to start a conversation with J., M. appeared, who in every possible way interrupted the communication of "outsiders" with J. He constantly herded her. In the evening there were dances again, again an interesting development of events. M. wore outerwear for Zh. and generally played the role of "an errand dog". My friend and I waited for the moment of the message, along the way having fun as we could. Fortunately, it turned out that at this meeting of people there was a certain shortage of good men. For the sake of interest, I spoke to J. in the late afternoon, when she was left alone for a while. The conversation lasted less than 2 minutes until M appeared. His exit was accompanied by the phrase "good night" and they left again. Sleep or chat. From the non-verbal, it was clear that they still had not had sex yet.

Events come to a head, day 3.

Morning day. They didn’t have sex, which made my friend and I shizel to the fullest. M. proved to be at the same time a short-turned brake with hypertrophied feedback. Terrible, but he didn't even touch her. The first kinesthetic contact took place late in the evening of the third day. It seems that this evening and night M. finally fucked J.

End. Day 4

in the afternoon they left.

Analysis of the situation: on the one hand, the man did EVERYTHING wrong, he did not work according to the canons of our school, he slowed down and behaved disgustingly. On the other hand, he demonstrated an interesting model of behavior, which has the right to be - he was given. So what did he do, step by step:

1. found a woman.

2. captured her attention

3. Created a "capsule" of communication

4. He made it so that no one communicated with him, and at the same time with a woman

5. forced the woman to communicate only with him.

I repeat once again - this person inspires me with his behavior, lack of imagination and inadequacy of disgust. But his model of seduction was successful in this context. This does not mean that I will ever use this model - it means that I learned some new tricks from this person. And the worst thing is that he took her away in vain. In Moscow, he will not be able to maintain the capsule and block external factors. In general, in the city he will lose the girl in a moment.

There is a main character in this story, and it is not M or there Jo. The main character in this story is Cocoon. This story is dedicated to the effect of the cocoon, and it is the Cocoon that can help you seduce the girl of your dreams. Let's start.

Chapter 16 Therapeutic Metaphor

A discussion of methods for taking a client from the current state to the desired state would be incomplete without talking about the therapeutic metaphor. It is a special storytelling technique that provides such unconscious and conscious human learning that causes new creative behavior. The art of therapeutic metaphor was largely developed by Milt H. Erickson. He was a master at both creating and telling such stories. The Therapeutic Metaphor by David Gordon is an excellent introduction to the technique of constructing therapeutic metaphors. I highly recommend reading it. Here I will only talk about the basics of constructing a metaphor and give a few examples so that you can understand the process as a whole and begin to develop your own art.

To be effective, a metaphor must:

1) To be isomorphic to the problematic content, that is, to have the same structure, or a similar one. Dieting is isomorphic to budgeting—the components of the situations are similar.

2) Offer a substitute experience in which the person has the opportunity to act from the point of view of another set of filters, which gives access to previously unnoticed choices.

3) Offer a resolution or set of resolutions in isomorphic situations that can be generalized to include a problem, and thus guide the client to appropriate choices.

Because this method does not include threat thickening, is often covert, and deals with topics that are not always easy to talk about, metaphors can be especially effective for issues that are difficult to approach with other techniques.

The basic steps in constructing a metaphor are as follows:

1) fully define the problem;

2) identify the structural components of the problem and the corresponding "actors";

3) find an isomorphic situation (David Gordon recommends practicing analogies: “You know, life is like wine, with the right handling of it, it gets better over the years”);

4) indicate the logical resolution, determine what needs to be learned and find contexts where these points will be obvious;

5) Wrap these structures in a story that is entertaining or hides intent (to avoid client resistance).

The following example might be a good illustration of the use of metaphor to help a client change. An attractive woman named Dot came to me for a consultation. She needed help to learn to control her promiscuous behavior. She was married to a charming (by her own description) man, she had two beautiful children, and yet she entered into extramarital affairs whenever and wherever possible. She wanted to stop acting like that. I used the following elements of her description to create a therapeutic metaphor. Like many attractive women these days, Dot was preoccupied with being overweight (which she didn't have), so I used this content to make the metaphor seem like a more or less natural extension of the therapeutic conversation.

Description of the problem:

Dot's promiscuity leads to her losing her husband and losing her self-respect. Dot can't resist the temptation of other men. Extramarital sex seems to Dot more exciting. Dot is not satisfied with her sexual relationship in marriage.

Therapeutic metaphor

A woman on her way to obesity.

A woman cannot deny herself a sweet dessert and hearty food when she is not eating at home.

The woman likes to eat away from home.

This woman barely touches her food

Each extramarital experience creates more guilt and brings her closer to losing her husband.

Dot's guilt becomes so painful that she has to do something about it. She doesn't sleep at night etc.

Dot never created a satisfying sexual experience with her husband.

Every meal out makes it more complete.

The obese lady must do something about her habits. She no longer fits into any of her dresses.

The fat lady never learned to cook food for herself that she liked.

So far, each element of the constructed metaphor is isomorphic to the problem, that is, they have a one-to-one relationship in the structure. The metaphor follows the problem in form. The next step is to move from following the problem to leading and resolving. Dot wants to change his behavior so that the problem is solved. The story, therefore, must somehow suggest a suitable change in the obese woman's behavior as she metaphorically represents Dot.

Solution of a problem:

Dot needs to apply the energy to create stimulating and exciting sexual experiences with her husband.

Dot needs to find satisfaction at home.

Dot needs to start taking pride in her marital relationship and find sexual fulfillment with her husband.

Metaphorical resolution:

The woman was remodeling her kitchen. She bought cookbooks and began experimenting with healthy and delicious food. Over time, faster than you think, she discovered that there was nothing in restaurants that could compare to her home cooking, so she lost her desire to eat anywhere else.

The woman has lost weight, and now she is proud of both her culinary arts.

These are the elements of a therapeutic metaphor designed to evoke a specific outcome. Anchors and various other verbal and non-verbal techniques are used in this storytelling process to help it work. As for the story for Dot, I tried to make it as interesting as possible so that she could identify with her character. She experienced the emotions of the heroine, giving me the opportunity to anchor (kinesthetically, visually, auditory) internally generated experiences suitable for change. I also used overlays to make the metaphor richer and more compelling.

The couple, Don and Iris, came to marriage counseling to mend a relationship that had begun to deteriorate at some point. Don was six years older than Iris. They were married for six years and had two children, four and two years old. Although Iris was a thin, attractive woman when they met, she has since gained 50 pounds in weight. This weight was added during each of the pregnancies, and did not disappear after childbirth. Don found her appearance disgusting and did not have sexual contact with her for several months. Since he held a senior position in a large firm, certain social responsibilities were associated with his work. He preferred not to tell Iris about them, deciding that he would rather go to the respective evenings alone than risk embarrassing everyone with her appearance. Don made the decision to have children, he was convinced that it was a good idea for them. But when she gained weight during her first pregnancy, he began to work more and more late. Even during counseling, Iris's weight fluctuations were directly related to how much time he spent with her, and her overeating sprees occurred in the evenings when he worked overtime. Although it was not clear whether he had an affair on the side, it is clear that such a thought crossed his mind.

Don was very pedantic about his own appearance and talked about how he sees himself. Iris talked about how empty her life was and how she needed something to fill it up. Don usually presented his experience as visual, Iris primarily as kinesthetic. They both agreed that they loved each other, although Don almost flinched when he glanced at Iris. Both described their past sexual experiences as "idyllic". With two children, Iris was supremely dependent on Don for everything except her motherly role.

For both of them, the desired state was for Iris to lose weight and thereby revive his physical attraction to her. For Iris, Don's attraction (or lack thereof) largely determined the state of her subjective experiences. The more he moved away from her, the more she ate to fill the painful void inside, and as a result, the more he moved away from her.

Since Don's increased attention to Iris could make it easier for her to lose weight, improve her general well-being and self-esteem, I could just tell him how much it depends on his actions and rely on his good intentions to resolve the problem. But the good intentions that he had did not help. Somehow, his experiences with Iris must be heightened. I was sure that if Don could give Iris warm support, even become an advocate, she would respond by losing weight and being "more of herself" (in her own words). However, her current appearance prevented both of them from getting the desired reactions from each other.

So, with both the immediate goal of increasing Don's attention to Iris, and the more distant goal of strengthening a mutually supportive relationship, I decided to use a therapeutic metaphor. In building it, I used the information I got from them about their behavior and introduced the specific expressions that Don used to make it more efficient. In the metaphor created for Don and Iris, which I will give, Don is called Uncle Ronnie, and the earth and artichokes represent Iris. The basic attitude of the farmer who takes care of the land and receives from it, the answer is permanent. Metaphorically, this relationship is congruent with the relationship between Don and Iris. Here is the story.

"You say your father was a farmer. My uncle Ronnie is also a farmer. That's what they call them in California, whatever they grow. He wasn't always a farmer. No, before that he had a career in business, and he was good there too. But his dad - my grandfather - had a big, nice allotment of land on the coast of California, and Ronnie knew that one day he would get this land.He kept it in mind, and time went on.

But his business took up a lot of his time. You know how it is. Finally, the time came when his father called him to California and said that it was hard for him to do this, and that he needed Ronnie to take over. Ronnie thought this might be the perfect opportunity. He had enough money to make something out of this land, and it's a beautiful piece of land, so he couldn't resist.

For a while he simply enjoyed his new position as a gentleman farmer. But at last he decided it was time to get down to business. His father was mainly a flower grower. Wonderful. But Ronnie wasn't thinking about that. After considering several possibilities, he decided that the best use of the land would be to grow artichokes. It is quite consistent with the climate, was considered a delicacy and was expensive.

So he plowed up the land and planted artichoke seeds. He thought it was a wise move on his part. But artichokes take a long time to bear fruit, and Ronnie was an impatient man. His interest began to fade. Once, when he looked at his fields, they seemed to him completely ugly. He told himself that of course it was more practical, but he had lost the fields of flowers. He moved more and more away from the earth and left worries to others. Of course, the earth suffered from this. The hands of hired workers did not care so much about the land, because it did not belong to them. And the land was showing the results of Ronnie's neglect. Ronnie told me that one day he went out into the field and looked around. He was horrified by mounds of cloddy earth and unattractive artichoke plants whose leaves hung down. He said to himself, “My God, what have I done? It's horrible. I don't even want to call it mine. I wish I hadn't touched this land!"

But he handled it. And what was he to do with her now? True, she gave artichokes, and they went well in the market. But the earth needed more of his attention and care in order for it to be truly fruitful. Deep inside himself, he knew that this was true.

Returning to the big house, he reached out and picked an artichoke and took it with him. Sitting in the kitchen thinking about his business, he began to really consider this artichoke. He was pretty ugly. Protruding, inedible leaves at the edges. He thought that hardly anyone would be tempted by such a thing. But then he began to carefully clean it. And as he peeled off layer after layer, he became more and more fascinated by what lay below. It was wonderful! Soft, tender inner leaves led him to the core. Of course, it was she who forced people to grow and buy artichokes. People knew that there was a beautiful, juicy core inside. Looking out of the window, he now saw artichoke hearts all over the field. He laughed, because instead of ugly scaly plants, he now saw a lot of plants that were busy with their outer layers protecting their inner ones, which, after all, everyone wanted from them. These rough outer layers protected the core from anyone who did not want to take the trouble and time to get to the inner treasure.

There was something about that that touched Ronnie, because the idea of ​​vulnerability was close to him. Moreover, the artichokes could not peel themselves. They couldn't reveal their inner treasure without him. This was his field, his plants, and suddenly he felt a strong desire to take care of them and care for them, to ensure their growth and fruiting. He wanted to make sure that the plants and fruits were taken care of so that the tender core was safe.

Now, of course, Uncle Ronnie is a fine farmer, proud of his land and what grows on it. He says of his past that he almost lost direction because he allowed himself to doubt when his appearance didn't seem good to him. And these doubts cost him a lot of time and effort to put everything in order again.

After taking a good look at what he had, he realized that he was ready to give anything, just not to lose it. Naturally, the earth answered him, making him a rich and proud man. Everyone could see that he had something of value."

The metaphor worked well, eliciting the desired response. Don became more attentive to Iris. He began to cheer her up and even took part in a weight loss program. According to him, he "made his contribution to this marriage", and he should have "expended some amount of time and energy to make this contribution pay off."

A particular advantage of metaphors is that people react effortlessly. Their consciousness does not interfere, and knowing that something has happened, they are fully aware of what exactly (and how). If I had set myself a different goal, the metaphor would have to be constructed differently. If I wanted Iris to become more self-reliant and independent, the metaphor could be the story that the earth got angry at the neglect and gave rise to strange and beautiful flowers, so that in the end Uncle Ronnie did not know how to wade through it. “And it became like the border of a developed land that had to be conquered again. But, alas, the earth did not receive his care, because the earth outgrew him, and in the end, it was not he who cultivated it, but she raised him for her needs.

Such a metaphor would certainly evoke a different reaction than the previous one. It seemed to me that Iris's really confident and independent reactions would be destructive in their relationship and would not help the cause. This opinion guided me in creating a metaphor to evoke a useful reaction. When using therapeutic metaphors, remember how you determined the outcome of the work, guiding both the construction and the telling of the metaphor.

The following notes and excerpts from therapeutic work show the different uses of the therapeutic metaphor. Bud suffered from impotence. In his history, there was no erection sufficient for intercourse or ejaculation. At the age of 14, he was seduced by his aunt, who lived with him and his mother. This aunt constantly humiliated him because of his inability to do so. The father has not been in the house since Bud was 12, and he never told his mother about the sexual incidents. Although Bud had been married for six months, he had not yet entered into a marital relationship. His description of his wife exactly matched that of his aunt. But Bud didn't seem to be aware of the resemblance. He had photographs in his wallet and aunts, wives, and the resemblance was striking. His aunt died a few years ago before he came to me for help. The metaphor I built contained the components:

Description of the problem

therapeutic metaphor.

The aunt is threateningly aggressive.

The church is on fire.

Bud is impotent, using this as a means to protect himself, although the aunt is already dead.

The firefighters are unable to pump water into the pump to save the church, and it has burned down.

Solution of a problem

Bud's unconscious must understand that impotence is no longer needed as a defense.

Firefighters have found a way to pump water into a pump.

Bud needs to separate his feelings about his aunt from his feelings for his wife.

Firefighters notice that sparks from the burned church have set fire to a nearby house.

This will give Bud the opportunity to be potent towards his wife. The firemen extinguished the fire without any difficulty.

“My mother told me a story about a fire that her sister heard from a neighbor in Wichita, Kansas. The largest church in the city caught fire. No one saw how it started, firefighters were called when the fire was already blazing. Well, it was hot! The firemen were amateurs, and they were terrified. And the real firefighters, as luck would have it, all ended up at the annual picnic. And these amateurs did everything they could, but did not even know where to start. They attached the hose to the pump, unrolled it and dragged it to the church, intending to run into the church under the cover of the jet and save what they could. But the pump did not work, and without water they did not dare to run in. You're a firefighter yourself, so you can imagine how they felt. In desperation, they rushed around until the church burned to the ground. And only when they realized that everything was lost, they figured out what needed to be done. Returning to the pump, calmed down because the church was no longer possible to save, they figured out how to turn on the pump, and water poured through the hose. But damn it, it was too late. Returning to the church, however, they noticed that several sparks set fire to a neighboring house in which there were people. Only burning coals are left of the church, so there is nothing to do with it. But the people in the house started screaming, so the firemen hurried there with their hose. Since the water poured out of it under great pressure, they easily poured out the fire, leaving not a smoldering spark.”

“They went home with a sense of accomplishment, although tired. They saved people, the fire managed to leave black marks here and there on the windows. The church burned to the ground, but the professional firefighters later said that it was impossible to save it from the very beginning, so they were right to take care of the house. Before dispersing, the firefighters checked the pump once more, making sure everything was in order and all parts would work if it was needed again.

Several years ago, in a seminar, a young man named Allen asked for help with a very personal problem. Although I told him that the seminar was not a place for personal consultations, his insistence led me to give him a few minutes. His problem was premature ejaculation. He suffered from this for several years, and had not sought help before. But now he really fell in love, and it was very important for him to be a good lover for this woman. Because I had time to see Allen's conscious and unconscious behavior in the seminar, and because the topic of the seminar was a therapeutic metaphor, I decided to use this technique to covertly intervene in his case.

As far as his mind goes, I just tried to comfort him by saying that there's not much that can be done about premature ejaculation. I suggested reshaping his behavior towards this new woman in his life, telling him that she was apparently so arousing to him that he simply could not control himself, that his premature ejaculation was only a reaction to her sexual virtues. Allen was stunned by this offer, but politely accepted it, and even began to imagine how he would formulate his remarks after coitus.

During the session, I put Allen into a light trance state and told him several stories, all of which were designed to elicit a specific response. I will give one of them, which can serve as an example. I am sure that the reaction that I expected will be obvious to the reader, although it was not entirely clear to the audience of the seminar. Most considered it a trance induction aimed at achieving a deep state.

"There are many paths leading to many places. A man who has worked hard for a whole year has only two weeks of vacation. A short two weeks in which he must fit all the pleasures of the year. What a frustrating thing to cram the pleasures of a whole year into two weeks "Often he would find places he could go to for a vacation. He would find them on a map and take the shortest route he could get there, looking for shortcuts, he wanted to get there as soon as possible. And it was all "That's fine. But that's how he's spent his whole life deciding where he's going and taking the shortest route to get there. What about those who might want to travel with him? What about unforeseen adventures and possible pleasures that he never And he himself, having chosen the path of destination, year after year used the same, the shortest path.And so it was up to one year.

This time his friend was going to the same place, the Grand Canyon. That's where they both went. And both of them have been there. But his friend was driving. And he was in no hurry to get there. He didn't even have a roadmap, but he was pretty sure he'd get where he wanted to go and spend as much time as he needed to get there. At first our hero was impatient. But then he became quite intrigued by what this strange mode of travel had to offer. Because they did what attracted them at the moment. They swerved aside when something surprised or interested them, and enjoyed what they found.

And the closer they got to the Grand Canyon, the less it mattered where they were going. Sometimes the road to the side seemed so attractive to our hero that he did not want to leave it. His friend encouraged him to continue his journey, only reminding him: “You can return to your favorite places again and again. And you can leave knowing that you can come back whenever you feel like it." Only then our hero agrees to go further. Both were so absorbed in every moment of their journey that their arrival at their destination was an unexpected new pleasure.

His friend drew on the soft earth the road they had taken: “You can come along this road, or you can come along that one. You can get here in as many ways as you can get pleasure. All of them will bring you here. Some are faster, others are slower. It doesn't matter. It's only important to be where you are when you're there, not where you're going before you get there. When you are where you are, nothing will be missed." And since then, year after year, our hero and his friend traveled to places known and unknown, and they did it easily and with great pleasure.

The metaphor proved effective in changing Allen's sexual behavior. Then he said that he had no difficulty with premature ejaculation in the next few weeks. This metaphor also changed his way of learning, so that instead of using the methods he was familiar with, he began to explore various aspects of the process we were working on in the seminar. As he did this, his satisfaction and creative attitude to the matter increased.

Allen never consciously knew that he had undergone sexual therapy. The next time we met, he smugly said that there was no need to worry, he had found other ways to deal with the problem. I replied that I completely believed him. He stopped, looked at me out of the corner of his eye, began to say something, then stopped himself, shrugged his shoulders, saying: "It seems that you know this well."

From the book Transactional Analysis - Eastern Version author Makarov Viktor Viktorovich

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From the book The Courage to Create by May Rollo R

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From the book Treatment for Love and Other Psychotherapeutic Novels by Yalom Irvin

9. THERAPEUTIC MONOGAMY - I am nothing. Dirt. Carrion. Nothing. I wander through the garbage heaps in the backyards of human habitation. God, die! Become dead! Crushed into a cake in a car crush and then burned with a flamethrower. Nothing to be left. Nothing. Even

1

The writing by the psychologist of a story about the emotional problems of the client is a psychotherapeutic method in search of a new understanding and solution of the identified psychological difficulties of the patient. In a therapeutic metaphor, which deals with unraveling the hidden meaning, it generates in the subconscious the processes associated with building various internal associations. As a result, conscious and unconscious processes, interacting, give rise to new interpretations and new behavioral reactions. The use of therapeutic metaphor as a method of psychological influence on the client's personality, causing free associations, has a deep and lasting effect. A therapeutic metaphor is a kind of novelistic method of resolving the client's experiences, used in the practice of a modern psychologist.

experience

therapeutic metaphor

2. Akhala T., Furman B. Short-term positive psychotherapy. - St. Petersburg: Speech, 2000. - 220 p.

3. Domoratsky V.A. Short-term methods of psychotherapy. M.: Psychotherapy, 2008. - 304 p.

4. Haley D. What is psychotherapy. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2002. - 224 p.

6. Yalom I. Theory and practice of group psychotherapy. - St. Petersburg: Peter, 2000. - 640 p.

The purpose of the study was: to show the possibility of writing a therapeutic metaphor to resolve the client's psycho-emotional problems. The research method was a therapeutic story written specifically for a particular client.

We use metaphors in everyday communication and often turn to them for a more figurative and vivid description of any psycho-emotional state or event. Metaphor opens up new formulas for the process of cognition. Metaphor, as a kind of symbolic language, has always been used for educational purposes, because it is the word, creating visual-sensory images of objects and phenomena, that is refracted in the form of biblical parables, Zen Buddhist koans, myths, legends, fairy tales and literary allegories . They widely use metaphors to express a certain thought in an indirect, but in a pictorial and expressive form. As a rule, a metaphor, in addition to being effective as a means of communication using analogies, carries an intimate expressiveness. The language of most approaches in psychotherapy is the language of analysis that tries to interpret human behavior, and the language of metaphor is an image, a symbol that also recognizes the inner personality content. And this language, as practice shows, is the most productive for dynamics in the process of psychotherapy. The use of a therapeutic metaphor as a way of psychologically influencing the client's personality is being vigorously discussed in scientific circles today, because a correctly constructed and told metaphor, causing free associations and relating to the client's personal life, has a deep and lasting effect. That is why the metaphor is applicable where it is necessary to search for a new understanding and new approaches to resolving the patient's experiences. The well-known American scientist, psychotherapist Irvin Yalom, more than once recommended that his patients write something about you, a kind of story about their feelings and experiences. Such a deep approach to psychological problems the client was reflected in the work of the psychotherapist "Treatment for Love". These are stories about patients that I. Yalom presented in the form of therapeutic short stories, subtly reading the psychological difficulties of his clients.

V.A. Domratsky believes that metaphors make it possible to simplify a complex problem, to make it more accessible for understanding. R. Van Oyhu owns the following definition of metaphor - thinking in terms of another. He distinguishes between "soft" and "hard" thinking. The "hard" is characterized by logic, reason, criticism, work, rigor, accuracy, concentration, analysis, concreteness. For "soft" - metaphor, dream, humor, uncertainty, game, approximation, fantasy, paradox, suspicion, generalization. Soft thinking tries to find similarities between things, hard thinking tries to find differences. In the figurative phase, new ideas arise; in the practical phase, they are evaluated and implemented. Both types of thinking play an important role, but operate in different phases.

Zen Buddhism invented koans, paradoxical, illogical riddles (probably one of the earliest ways to speak in metaphors). Koans present information in a non-directive, mocking manner. As for myths, legends and fairy tales, here we observe the widest range of figurative expressions skillfully used by the people.

In a therapeutic metaphor, which deals with unraveling the hidden meaning of the client's inner world, it generates in the subconscious the processes associated with building various internal associations. As a result, conscious and unconscious processes, interacting, give rise to new interpretations and new behavioral reactions. The therapeutic metaphor launches two parallel processes in the left and right hemispheres of the brain, resulting in an effective effect on the conscious and subconscious. At the same time, internal experiences and the ability to reflect on them are displayed.

It is known that the therapeutic metaphor includes: 1) built-in suggestions and commands; 2) representative systems; 3) intonation accompaniment. We wrote a therapeutic metaphor that was consonant with the problem stated by the client, contributing to the actualization of the moments of his personal emotional life situation that he repressed.

The therapeutic metaphor functions in the following positions:

1) Diagnostic. When the patient associates his emotion with some image. During the counseling process, the therapist may tell a story from practice that may elicit a response if it is in any way reminiscent of the client's own problem. In this case, there is a change in the non-verbal reactions of the client, he listens carefully, gives interested remarks.

2) Educational. The psychotherapist provides the client’s right hemisphere with metaphorical material in order to help a person learn something important through the proposed analogies, learn to separate the essential from the non-essential, to know oneself, to remind one of one’s own resources, to help strengthen the Ego, etc. For this purpose, parables are used, stories about patients with similar problems.

3) Relaxing. When the psychotherapist can easily and easily through exercises, help the client to get rid of negative emotions. Moreover, if you perform these exercises at a deep level, then by visualizing the images, the client will learn a lot of important and interesting things for himself, while exposing his feelings.

4) Permissive (actually therapeutic). This function is inherent in two types of metaphors: therapeutic and epistemological.

Open yourself.

“I want to be rich with all the bonuses that come with it - a red Ferrari, black crocodile leather shoes from Guzzi and an annual card for all SPAs in Europe. M-yes, not bad ... So what? Yes, I want to be not a pillar noblewoman, but the mistress of the sea, then he will see who he doesn’t call and whose SMS messages he doesn’t answer. So thought the young lady as she walked slowly through the corridors of the faculty of the university. Suddenly, the girl stopped, looked at her shoes, it seemed to her that someone was talking here, very close, the girl listened:

Oh-oh, what is it? Ay-ay, now I’ll burst, your leg, my dear, is too wide for me, - the new patent leather shoe is indignant.

Shut up - the female leg answers her, you were bought at a high price - please, do your professional duties.

But you press painfully with your finger on my nose, my graceful beautiful nose, - the shoe yelled again.

Listen, shoe, you've been paid for, you've been looked after, you've been flaunted, all because you're stylish, beautiful. I am patiently silent, you understand, soulless proud!

Well, okay, okay, maybe I'm out of time for you? - the shoe is not appeased.

No, it’s fine, the other size is large, and you are fine, the woman’s leg answers.

I'm going to burst now, it's impossible to breathe, - says the shoe.

I understand that you are overwhelmed with feelings, you are worried, nervous, but what to do? - the female leg is perplexed.

That's it, let's negotiate, - the woman's shoe blurted out.

Can we start with you? - continues the shoe.

Well, I'm going to you, - thoughtfully answered the female leg.

First, aren't you comfortable with me? - asks the shoe.

Not really, - the female leg pulled incredulously.

Here! Why don't you talk about it? - says the shoe.

But you are fashionable, bought in a branded boutique, - answered the female leg.

And what ... Actually, I will reveal an open secret - what is convenient is fashionable! - and the shoe sincerely smiled.

To be honest, that first shoe that you, i.e. I liked you the measure in the boutique, it was so tender, it fit the foot well, - the woman's leg shone from the surging memories.

That's it, - breathed the shoe.

The phone suddenly rang...

The continuation (as homework) of the therapeutic metaphor can be written by the client himself. Perhaps this will be the end, or perhaps a completely different story.

Conclusion. The writing by the psychologist of a story about the emotional problems of the client is a psychotherapeutic method in search of a new understanding and solution of the identified psychological difficulties of the patient. The use of therapeutic metaphor as a method of psychological influence on the client's personality, causing free associations, has a deep and lasting effect. A therapeutic metaphor is a kind of novelistic method of resolving the client's experiences, used in the practice of a modern psychologist.

Reviewers:

Dzhioeva A.R., Doctor of Pediatric Sciences, Professor, North Ossetian State University named after Kosta Levanovich Khetagurov, Vladikavkaz;

Kargieva Z.K., Professor, North Ossetian State University named after Kost Levanovich Khetagurov, Vladikavkaz.

Bibliographic link

Kokoeva R.T. THERAPEUTIC METAPHOR AS A METHOD IN THE INDIVIDUAL WORK OF A PSYCHOLOGIST // Contemporary Issues science and education. - 2014. - No. 6.;
URL: http://science-education.ru/ru/article/view?id=16935 (Date of access: 02/01/2020). We bring to your attention the journals published by the publishing house "Academy of Natural History"

Therapeutic metaphors - that is, metaphors that aim to change behavior rather than explain or motivate - are one of the favorite tools in NLP and Ericksonian hypnosis. I will not expand on the greatness and usefulness of this tool now, but I will describe a fairly simple strategy for constructing these very therapeutic metaphors. The main idea: we go through the SCORE points from causes to effects, and between the symptoms and the result, as a way of solving, we insert the NLP technique in a metaphorical form.

As a result, we get a way to apply NLP techniques in an implicit form. The dream of many.

Correspondence

To begin with, to build a metaphor, we need to build structural correspondences.

Metaphors in which there is such a correspondence are called isomorphic.

For example, there is a family conflict - a husband and wife cannot distribute household chores. In a metaphor, for example:

husband = king;

wife = queen;

conflict over distribution of responsibilities = dispute over who should be responsible for what in the kingdom.

At the same time, the correspondence should be more or less obvious, but not too noticeable - so that consciousness does not fit into the process.

Subsequence

The metaphor itself is constructed sequentially by SCORE points from past to future:

1. Reasons.

2. Symptoms.

3. Solution method.

4. Result.

5. Effects.

Causes

This is, in fact, the prehistory and setting the context.

Symptoms

Description of the problem. This also includes finding a solution.

Solution method

Result

What gives a way to decide what result we come to. Meaningfully corresponds connection to the future.

effects

Consequences. Usually positive: "They began to live and make good."

Examples

To improve the perception and understanding of the structure, a system of correspondences will be written first. And the SCORE points will be marked with colors, according to the legend:

1. Causes.

2. Symptoms.

3. Solution method.

4. Result.

5. Effects.

job loss

Problem: A person cannot get rid of the experience of some kind of loss, for example, the loss of a job.

Matches:

• person (client) = ordinary person in metaphor;
• job loss = smartphone loss.

For the solution, we use submodality shift: dissociation and estrangement.

Ecology is set by embedding a security system - Fear in a metaphor.

You can replace the Good Young Man with the Red Maiden. Which of Fear knitted her mittens, and they prompted her.

Once upon a time there was one Good Good Guy who had Fear. He lived somewhere in his stomach and was very annoying. Because Fear requires constant attention and does not like it very much when it is distracted from it. Or do what he doesn't want.Only the Good Fellow will think of stroking the dog - Fear is right there. Or if the Good Fellow wants to show his bravery and climb a tree - Fear will twist in his stomach, how he will tense up, and will not allow him to climb trees. And if you go to the market, Fear made him hold on to his purse so that everyone shied away from him.
Tired of all this, the good fellow and he went to look for someone who would save him from Fear. He went all over the kingdom, asked many people, no one could advise anything worthwhile. Until in one distant city a good man suggested that in the day of the journey, in a dark forest, there is an old castle. A witch lives in the castle. And that sorceress knows all the secrets, and she will save the Good Fellow from Fear.
And the Good Fellow went to look for that sorceress. But since he had Fear, he spent a whole month on the path that others traveled in a day. And he turned and went astray, but found that castle.
Well, like a castle - just a stone house. And the glade is large, and the stream is nearby. I thought the sorceress was an old woman - but no, the woman is young, even pretty. Only Fear did not allow him to look at her for a long time, so that he did not see her face. But Fear made him stutter. And stuttering, the Good Fellow told about his grief. About the fact that Fear harmful to him does not give life. The sorceress chuckled, who was probably not a sorceress - people talk a lot. And said:
- Fear lives in the stomach and it looks like a ball. The larger and tighter the ball, the stronger the Fear. So just pull the thread out of the ball and unravel it.
She said so, and went into the house, about her business. And the Good Fellow had no choice but to fulfill the order of the sorceress, who is not a sorceress at all. He went to the edge of the clearing, sat down under a tree and began to think about Fear. And he realized that he really was like a ball. He found a thread from the edge and began to unwind that ball. Untwisted a little that tangle - Fear weakened. Unwound stronger - Fear became quite small, not terrible. Untwisted completely - Fear disappeared altogether. But he left behind a little apprehension. Speaks:
- Do not throw me out Good fellow, I'll be useful to you. I will warn you about the danger or pay attention to something important. I'm small, I won't bother you.
Good fellow thought and left Fear. I went home, and Fear sits quietly, does not interfere. Until the Good Fellow approached the high cliff, and since he lost Fear, he walked along the very edge without fear. Here Fear says to him:
- Look carefully under your feet, the stones are shaky there.
The Good Fellow began to carefully look under his feet, to choose the right stones.
He goes further - there he meets a dog. And since Dobry Dolodets used to be afraid of dogs, he really wanted to pet her. Here Fear says:
- You look at the dog carefully - and that is, dogs are evil, but there are good ones. Evil ones can bite.
The Good Fellow looked attentively at the dog - it turned out to be kind, it wags its tail, it wants to lick its cheek. Before, the Good Fellow would have run away, but now he patted the dog on the head and stroked the back. And happy, he went on.
He returned home. And it took him three days to make the journey, which had previously taken him a year. And he lived happily, and Fear no longer annoyed him. Only Fear occasionally reminded me to be attentive.

Get up in the morning

The difficulties of getting up in the morning is a well-known problem, played up in a bunch of jokes and demotivators. And here, for all those who suffer, a universal metaphor.

It is clear that this option is very easy to remake for other situations with internal conflict.

Matches:

• person (client) = Familiar;
• rising in the morning = getting up in the morning.

For the solution, we use the completely classic NLP technique "Contract of Parts". Ecology is checked here as a standard - we ask if there are parts that are against it.

In general, almost all techniques using parts: "Parts contract", "Integration of conflicting parts", "Six-step reframing" - are initially metaphors. So it’s quite easy to embed them in an isomorphic metaphor, sometimes it’s enough to describe the process.

One of my acquaintances also suffered: he got up in the morning with difficulty, he wanted to sleep all day, he was late. In short, everything is as usual. So I tell him:

Imagine that you have two parts - one wants to sleep, the other says that it's time to get up. One says "let's sleep some more", the other "it's time to get up." And interfere with each other, one lulls, the other blames.

So it is, - says the Familiar, - they got it already.

And each important and useful for you, the goal is comfort, respect or peace of mind.

Guessed - says Familiar.

Well, do it like this, let them agree. They interfere with each other. Here, ask each of them if she is ready not to interfere with the other, if she does not interfere with her in return.

It looks like both are ready. And the one that wants to sleep, and the one that wants to get up.

Excellent, - I say, - but will they take upon themselves the obligation to support this treaty? Well, for example, try a couple of weeks.

Yes, - answers, - are quite ready.

Are there any other parts of you that are against this agreement of theirs?

No.

It worked out well, otherwise we would have had to negotiate with those parts too.

Oddly enough, after that he began to get up normally - well, that is, he would wake up, lie down for a couple of minutes and get up. If you slept. And if you don’t get enough sleep and you don’t need to get up much, you just sleep peacefully on.

And he stopped being late, and became more cheerful and, in general, somehow everything became better.

The technique of the method consists in the ability to tell instructive stories, "psychotherapeutic fairy tales" - metaphors. In fact, every experienced psychotherapist (and not only him), who has rich life experience and some ability to compose, fantasize, owns a metaphor.

Naturally, this method does not have a clear technique, but there are some rules and a certain sequence for creating and presenting a metaphor.

Rules

1. The story should be in some way identical to the patient's problem, but in no case should it have a direct resemblance to it, only come into contact with it.
2. The metaphor should offer a vicarious experience that, when heard and passed through the filters of their problems, the patient would be able to "see" the possibility of a new choice.
3. If the patient is not able to make a choice on his own, offer him options for solving similar problems. Just do not do it, as they say, on the forehead.

Subsequence

1. Define the problem.
2. Determine the structural components of the problem (break it into parts, outline the main actors).
3. Find parallel situations.
4. Determine the logical resolution of this situation (“The moral of this fable is…”).
5. Wrap this structure in a story that should be entertaining and hide the true intentions of the therapist. Otherwise resistance is inevitable.

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