Family-clan principle of resettlement

The remoteness of most Vepsian territories from urban and regional centers, the absence of a system of land roads contributed to the long-term preservation of the archaic way of life of the local population. So, back in the 1920s, many villages retained the family-clan principle of settlement. The territorial distribution of the clan was limited to the limit of their own society (village council). In a number of places, kinship within the same society amounted to 84.7%, and the "zone of kinship" was determined within a radius of 3-6 kilometers from the settlement. Vepsian families were large. According to the surviving data of one of the Vepsian parishes (1787), on average there were 12.7 people per family. There were sometimes up to three daughters-in-law in the house. The owner was an older man. After the marriage, the eldest son was separated - they built a new house for him. The last son remained in his father's house.

The position of a woman in the family

The woman in the family had no rights. She was forbidden to carry out commercial transactions, and for the execution of any other business she had to obtain permission from the owner of the house or her husband.

According to tradition, upon the death of the father, the house was passed on to the youngest son. If the husband died, and the woman had no children, then the wife was not considered an heiress; she didn't get any of the things. Even her dowry, brought to her husband's house, remained in the family.

The old order was long held in family relationships. In the Vepsian villages they said: "God created the sky, the earth and man, that is, the peasant, and the devil - the mountains, the Olonets province and the woman's breed." No matter how bad and “not Basque” a man was, and besides, a loafer, he was still considered higher than even the most exemplary wife, just because she is a woman. Most of the men recognized that a woman had a "soul", but this soul, in their opinion, was not quite real, since a man paid a tax for his "soul", but they did not take it from a woman. Professor A.I. Kolmogorov wrote the following about the life of the Vepsians:

"A huge percentage of illegitimate children -" Bogdanovichi "shows that girls do not particularly" watch themselves ". But this does not surprise anyone, and suitors do not think of avoiding such a girl, since marriage with a chukhar is a commercial transaction. Marital fidelity is also not particularly high "Both men and women sin the same way. Many women, in addition to their husbands, also have a "friend" of young guys who lived at her expense."

traditional food

Traditional Vepsian cuisine was based on cooking from products of plant origin, fish, animal products and gathering.

But vegetables, mushrooms and berries prevailed in the diet, as well as cereals and legumes: barley, oats, peas, and beans. Turnips occupied a special place in the diet of the Vepsians. Many dishes were prepared from it: porridge, kvass, stew, baked turnips. This vegetable has repeatedly saved the Vepsians from starvation. Milk and dairy products were consumed as drinks, kneaded dough on them, made stuffing for pies and gates, added to soups, cereals, casseroles. Curd was made from sour milk. There was a special relationship with chicken eggs. Of these, they prepared mainly ritual food - milk scrambled eggs. Boiled eggs were eaten only on Easter and Trinity. The most diverse dishes in Vepsian cuisine are dishes prepared from various flours and cereals. In the first place in terms of consumption among everyday food were oatmeal pancakes. The easiest and fastest food to prepare was considered to be "zagusta" made from rye, oatmeal or barley flour. The Vepsians considered bread an expensive meal; They ate it mainly as an independent dish. On holidays, instead of bread, various baked goods made from sour and unleavened dough were served at the table: kolobs, kokachis, pea husks, wickets, spun (fried) pies.

Hospitality and attitude towards other people's property

Despite the poverty in which almost the entire Vepsian population lived at the end of the 19th century, ancient hospitality and the concept of the inviolability of other people's property and mutual assistance were still preserved in public life. In the Vepsian regions, one could meet villages in which people had no idea about castles. If something was lost on the road during the journey, no one was worried, because they knew that on the way back they would be able to pick up the lost thing. If it was discovered that someone had committed a theft, then this person was subjected to public condemnation: the thief's hands were tied and taken around the villages. Along with this permissible action, theft from a rich person was recognized, and if the stolen was given to the poor, then this was generally “salvation”, and not a sin. When one of the fellow villagers drowned the bathhouse, he invited everyone to bathe in it; and if bread had just been baked in someone's house, they treated the neighbors to it, saying: "Another time, when I don't have bread, I will come to you!"

In dealing with outsiders, even in their own village, the Veps were rather reserved. And if a stranger met on a forest road, then they tried to avoid this meeting in any way - hide in the forest or climb a tree. When meeting with the inhabitants of their village, they did not greet - when they saw a fellow villager, they bowed. With the inhabitants of other villages, men always shook hands, and when meeting somewhere with relatives, women kissed.

Attitude towards children

The attitude towards children among the Vepsians was ambiguous. It was considered a sin in marriage not to have children or give birth to the dead. But the birth of a large number of children was also recognized as a misfortune - a punishment from God. Usually, peasant women gave birth to children from 17 to 45 years old. The number of births in families reached twenty, but due to poor care of the woman in labor, childhood illnesses and accidents, not all newborns survived. The average family raised six to ten children.

The period of bearing a child and his birth was accompanied by various rituals, which were based on the idea of ​​the need to protect the baby and mother from the "evil eye" and ensure the child's health and happy fate.

During pregnancy, women were supposed to observe a number of restrictions in their life. Pregnant women were forbidden to visit cemeteries, as the people believed that if a woman carrying a child sees a dead person, then she will have a child with a "pale face" - painful. It was strictly forbidden to cross the road in front of the funeral procession, otherwise the birth would be difficult - the child would come out across. It was also undesirable to attend a wedding - they could jinx it.

In no case was it possible to harm animals during pregnancy: destroy bird nests (otherwise a miscarriage will occur), eat grouse eggs (so that the child does not become pockmarked), offend cats and dogs. It was also forbidden to be present at the slaughter of livestock. Pregnant women were afraid to go into the forest, afraid to meet a bear there (the Vepsians had a belief that a bear always attacks pregnant women and tears their stomachs).

By the time and characteristics of birth, the fate of the child was often judged. So, a birth on a new moon foreshadowed a long life, and the moon was at a loss and the last days of the week - a short one. A sign of longevity of life was also the fact that the child came out on the mat face up. If the child fell face down, then this foreshadowed that the life of the baby would be short. The birth of a child with teeth was considered a bad omen.

Baptized children, as a rule, in the church after two to six weeks from birth; but in remote villages this rite was also performed at home. The mother's brother usually acted as the godfather, and the father's sister became the godfather. The rite of baptism was performed by a priest. When the sacrament of baptism was performed, the father and mother of the child were not present in the church. The names of the newborns were given according to the holy calendar. The boy was given the name he liked, located in the Christian calendar within two weeks before or after the birth, and the girl - only during the first two weeks after her birthday.

When the child was two years old, his name day was celebrated for the first time in the family. The celebration began with a visit to the morning service in the temple. The child was brought to church, a candle was lit for him to the saint of the same name. Upon returning home, they sat down for a festive meal (only relatives were invited to it). At the end of the dinner, a ritual dish was always served - oatmeal jelly.

Relationships between boys and girls

Relationships between boys and girls began at the age of 11-12. At this age, teenagers were already having their children's "talks". Girls went to them with spinning wheels and other needlework, boys with accordions. In conversations, the boys looked after their chosen ones. They sat on their knees, hugged the girls and kissed them. Courtship at an older age took place more openly - on walks, in general conversations. Young people kissed only on the lips. It was believed that "it is a sin to kiss on the forehead and on the cheek", and, moreover, it is "useless". Instead of the word "to look after" in the village, the expressions "to carve", "to walk" were adopted. Usually guys with girls walked for two or three years. However, this did not oblige them to marry. The guy with whom they spent time on the festivities was called "drill", "berry", and the girl - "sudarushka".

While courting, the guys noticed whether the girl had walked before or not. The sign was a longitudinal groove on the tip of the nose. The girls also had their own signs; it was believed that if a guy has one eyebrow lighter than the other, then "he goes to the girls at night." They tried to attract the attention of the guy with outfits and rustic cosmetics. Blush made from the root of the cocotus plant, which grows on dry stubble, was very popular with girls. It was chewed, and then lowered into water and allowed to brew. The resulting red infusion with soap was rubbed on the face. We used this tool only in the warm season, as the paint turned pale in the cold.

If the guys did not pay attention to the girl, then it was believed that she did not have "gloriousness". In this concept, the people invested a wide range of ideas about happiness, physical and spiritual beauty, girlish honor, dignity, and attractiveness. The loss of fame could be due to the fact that the girl violated "orders and prohibitions." So the unmarried woman could not be allowed to try on her clothes, it was impossible to allow anyone to remove mittens or rings from their hands. It was possible to restore glory with the help of magical actions. For help, the girls turned to the village sorceresses, who performed a special ceremony.

material prepared
Korolkova Ludmila Valentinovna

How many married couples exist on earth, probably, they have so many ways. But still, experienced psychologists have deduced four problem models family life. Want to know what type your family is? Examine all four models and determine which one is closer to your pair. Determining the type of a married couple, one must be based on what roles and powers the spouse performs in the family. That is why each model has advantages and disadvantages. And if there are virtues, then you need to rejoice, and if there are shortcomings, then they need to be eradicated if possible.

Prominent patriarchy

Described in a pre-revolutionary textbook, the classical form of housing construction has already outlived its usefulness, but at the same time, this family model is still common. The husband is the breadwinner, the head of the family, the breadwinner of the family. And he is also a judge, arbiter of destinies, the first violin in the orchestra, and, as expected, he has not only more responsibility, but also rights. Well, the wife can only be interested in children, cuisine and the church. And if the wife is still working, then only for the sake of appearances. After all, her income for the part-time work worked out is only enough for hairpins.

If the family has withstood such tests of time, then the couple has pluses. This means that the husband seeks to make good money, provide for his wife and children, and the wife keeps the house in order and devotes more time to children and their upbringing.

Flaws

The wife plays a secondary role in the family. After all, her main interests are focused on the kitchen and children, grocery stores and bazaars, kindergartens and schools. There may come a time when such a wife stops developing as a person, she stops taking care of herself, loses her professional skills.

What to do

If both spouses are satisfied with this alignment in the family, then nothing needs to be changed. They are happy in their marriage and that's good. But if the wife still experiences some discomfort from these family responsibilities, and she wants a little freedom and maneuvers outside the home, then it is worth developing in this regard.

You can start your own hobby - sign up for knitting, cutting and sewing courses, floristry courses. Or maybe a driving course. If the wife does not work, then you can find a small part-time job, but only so that she is to her liking. You need to meet with friends more often, go with them to bachelorette parties, to the cinema, to the theater. And the main thing is to do all this smoothly, without sudden movements, otherwise the husband will evaluate this as an attempt to abandon the family. You can make a very interesting maneuver - invite your husband to visit family as often as possible, visit nature, arrange weekend trips. All this will only benefit the relationship in the family.

Old matriarchy

The matriarchy-style family also became culturalized over time. In addition to the fact that a woman decided which kindergarten or school her daughter or son would go to, change her husband's place of work or stay in the same place, plant potatoes or only tomatoes in the country, then the material support of the family was added to this. And for some successful ladies, it's great. They climb the corporate ladder and establish their own business or business.

Advantages of such a family model

A woman feels significant and successful, she develops. And a man with such a wife can rest. But as family practice shows, everything will go smoothly in this family if the wife is of the woman-mother type, and the husband is of the man-son type.

Flaws

If the wife is so successful, she copes with everything, manages everything and everyone, then what role does the husband play in this family. There are several options - he arranges life at his own discretion: he competes with his wife; or, having folded his wings, and putting an end to his career, takes all the household chores upon himself. But he has to imitate a great delight from all this. After all, the woman who “runs” everything gradually becomes less soft and cordial. And at the same time suppressing not only her husband, but also all household members. But, despite the fact that she frankly demonstrates her imperious character, a woman still wants to feel close care and a strong male shoulder.

What to do

Even if my husband agrees. That the wife plays the main role, you need to gradually loosen your grip, not take everything upon yourself. And become softer and more feminine. You also need to support your husband, because he is capable of a lot, only he is not allowed to “turn around”. The strong character of the wife is needed only when the husband plays a secondary role because of his indecision or laziness. You need to call your husband for help and not take on those cases that he can successfully solve on his own. Let there be mistakes in his decisions, but he made them on his own.

And married and free

In such a family model, no one reaches for the palm. Each of the spouses is waiting for his half to take the helm in their hands, and at the same time the solution to all problems - what to live for, how to earn more, and where, to go to the sea this year or relax in the country, to celebrate the son’s birthday or not. Looking from the outside, you might think that this is not a family, but a kindergarten. Maybe somewhere it is. After all, only infantile people can form such a family model. In most cases, these are yesterday's students. Or maybe vice versa. Maybe a married couple, despite their age, is still not ready for seed life and the problems arising from it.

Advantages of the family model

There are not so many advantages. Only the fact that this is an opportunity to live an adult family life, and the fact that such a family has great sex, these are the main points of contact.

Flaws

This is not a complete family life. A half-starved existence with unpaid utilities, bills and so on. In these families, reproaches and claims against each other most often flare up. And if they sometimes subside, then not for long.

What to do

The only way out is to grow up. Take responsibility for the family, start solving problems, making compromises.

Some generals

This family model is the exact opposite of the model described above. Here is a situation where two generals command in one headquarters. Both husband and wife are fighting for the right to be in charge. They have disputes in serious matters, for example, about buying an apartment, and in small ones as well, for example, where to put a floor lamp.

Advantages

Two strong personalities united in a couple and if they compromise, they can achieve a lot in all areas of life.

Flaws

If a couple never sits down at the negotiating table, then the family is doomed to eternal hostilities.

What to do

Try to see in a loved one not a competitor and rival, but the best partner and friend.

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In this article, we will briefly discuss each aspect of the concepts of traditional family and marriage in modern society: main functions and their changes, types, roles, values ​​and their meaning, crises, features and development trends.

Understanding terminology

A couple bound by marriage is already the collective that among people is considered a family. The tradition of uniting people into smaller groups than clans or tribes has a long history.

Since this phenomenon is comprehensive and fundamental, it is studied by various sciences:

• sociology;
• cultural studies;
• ethnography;
• social science.

The family unit in modern society has been somewhat transformed. The thing is that its purpose has ceased to be only a practical goal - the reproduction of offspring. This phenomenon can be considered both as a whole as a social institution and as a small group.

Not so long ago, a couple of decades ago, several generations could live under one roof at once, which positively influenced the exchange of experience between representatives of different decades. In modern society, the most common is the nuclear family, that is, a husband and wife with children.

The positive side of this way of life is mobility. Separate generations can meet, spend holidays together, while maintaining their freedom and independence.

The negative aspect of such settlement is a high degree of disunity. Due to the fact that families become smaller bases, sometimes they include only a man and a woman, the connection is lost both within the clan and with society.

This results in a number of negative consequences:

• the value of marriage is lost;
• the continuity of generations is broken, and the total nihilism of youth gives rise to dangerous currents;
• the preservation and development of humanistic ideals are threatened.

Only turning to one's roots can prevent these harmful social phenomena. It is not always possible for grandparents, sons and grandchildren to live in the same house, but it is easy to show the younger generation who their grandfathers were and tell about the history of the family if your library has a family book from the Russian House of Genealogy.

Learning about their ancestors, the child will understand that they were the same people with desires, goals and dreams. They will become something more to him than photos in an album. The kid will learn to perceive immutable values ​​and in the future will keep them already in his home.

This is especially important now, since the institution of the family in modern society is almost on the verge of extinction. Young people, having a high degree of infantilism and an exaggerated value of personal freedom, do not seek to legitimize their relationship.

Traditional small groups are practically a thing of the past, where the value of the union was above all. The fact that the important role of the cell has been shaken is evidenced not only by the dynamics of divorces, but also by the commitment of young people to the child-free philosophy that is gaining popularity, that is, to the desire to live for themselves without thinking about procreation.

This circumstance leads to the fact that nuclear unions, where there is at least one child, replace childless ones, for whom such a lifestyle is a conscious choice.

Types of families in modern society

There are a number of criteria by which small groups can be described. Currently, scientists use several bases to describe this team:

• nature of family ties;

• amount of children;
• method of conducting a pedigree;
• place of residence;
• dominance type.

The traditional union of a man and a woman is now a rarity. And the point here is not only in the general mood and aspirations of girls and guys. Social conditions are changing, and the organization of a small group is being transformed to please them. Previously, it was a solid fundamental education, where traditions were honored and indisputable authorities were valued. Now the small group has become more mobile, and the views are more loyal. There are even same-sex unions in some countries: Sweden, Holland, Belgium, Canada, Norway.

In the Russian society of the modern type, not only the classical composition of the family, but the number of children still prevail. In many ways, how many generations coexist in the same house is influenced by material opportunities, but the tendency for a young couple to move away from their parents is becoming more and more popular.

The nature of family ties

On this basis, sociologists distinguish between nuclear and extended families. The first type represents spouses with children, and the second implies cohabitation with relatives of the wife or husband.

Extended unions were widespread back in Soviet times, not to mention more ancient times. This way of living together taught loyalty, respect for elders, formed true values, and contributed to the preservation of traditions.

Amount of children

Today, many couples refuse to have children at all or strive to raise only one. But because of the crisis in demography, the state itself is pursuing a policy that stimulates the growth of the birth rate. The government has set a certain amount of payments for the second and subsequent children.

According to this criterion, pairs are distinguished:

• childless;
• small, medium, large families.

Way of maintaining a pedigree

In social science, the family in modern society is characterized by another basis, namely, whose line of inheritance dominates. There are patrilineal (paternal line), matrilineal (maternal line), bilineal (both lines).

Thanks to the equality of both partners, the bilineal tradition of maintaining pedigrees has now been established. It is difficult to take into account all the nuances and intricacies of both lines, but the Russian House of Genealogy will make a family tree, connecting the two branches of the mother and father.

Place of residence

There are three types of cells, depending on where the newlyweds choose to stay after the wedding:

• patrilocal (live in the house of the husband's parents);
• matrilocal (remain with the wife's relatives):
• neo-local (moving to a new separate housing).

The choice of place of residence depends on the views and traditions that have developed in the family.

headship type

Sociologists distinguish several types of suzes according to in whose hands power is concentrated.

• patriarchal (father is the main one);
• matriarchal (mother is the main one);
• egalitarian (equality).

The latter type is characterized by equality. In such an alliance, decisions are made jointly. Sociologists believe that this type of family is predominant in modern society.

Cell functions

On a global level, namely as a social institution, the marriage union helps to take care of the reproduction of the genus. It is important for people to find their continuation in another living being. The cyclicity of life fills it with meaning, and in many respects this is why we strive to give all the best to our children.

Researchers believe that the main function of the family in modern society is reproductive. This approach is considered traditional, because it reflects the way of life of many generations that were before us and will remain after. After all, this is a natural natural mechanism.

As a small group, the significance of the union of husband and wife is still great. It acts as a launching pad - the first team in which a person gets acquainted with the ways of building social relations. It is in the circle of close people that the child learns the norms and rules of human communication, gradually socializes.

In addition to these main functions - reproductive and educational - there are a number of others:

• Regulatory. Limits human instincts. Society approves of monogamy and fidelity to one spouse.
• Economic. Maintaining a joint household helps a person to satisfy his primary needs.
• Communicative. The individual needs support and spiritual fellowship.

Currently, there is some change in the composition of cell functions in a new type of society. In the first place come communicative and household.

The production function of the family is still strong. It is traditionally believed that children should be born in marriage. Young people under the age of 18 need material and moral support. During this period, there is an active assimilation of the experience of previous generations, the ability to independently make vital decisions is formed. Early marriages, as experts believe, have a high degree of instability and poor implementation of the reproductive function.

What functions of the family have changed in modern society? If earlier it was a utilitarian education and served only practical purposes - procreation, now alliances are made for the sake of support and joint achievement of success, as well as to gain a sense of social security and tranquility.

Problems of development of a young family and marriage in modern society

The growing number of single mothers every year, incomplete unions, as well as the replenishment of the number of children in orphanages - all this is a serious problem for the development of the family in today's conditions.

The institution of marriage today is truly under threat of destruction. Sociologists identify three manifestations of the crisis of the family in modern society.

• First and most obvious, registry offices still accept hundreds of applications a year, but statistics show a sharp decline in the number of marriages.
• The second crisis phenomenon is that even after several years life together the couple decide to end their relationship.
• The third sad circumstance: divorced spouses do not marry other partners.

The lack of desire to have children in many marriages carries with it many potential demographic difficulties.

Family Development Trends in Modern Society

The conditions of our reality force women to be actively involved in social and labor activities. Ladies, on an equal footing with men, conduct business, participate in solving political issues, master professions that are not characteristic of them. This leaves an imprint on the presence of some features of recent marriages.

Many career women do not want to sacrifice their time and go on maternity leave to care for a child. Technology is advancing so rapidly that even a week-long absence from the workplace can cost a serious setback in terms of development. Therefore, today couples evenly distribute among themselves responsibilities for the home, raising a child.

If you really thought about how the family is changing in modern society, then you probably understood that these transformations are significant, even global. The composition of the cell, the role and functions of each of its individual members becomes different. But along with the negative trends, scientists also identify pluses. The marriage of a man and a woman is seen as a union that accumulates the achievements of both partners and is concluded for support and joint development. Such a philosophy can give life to a new branch of the family.

Another primary group is formed, where a person will learn to love, respect and value relationships.

Proper upbringing is able to convey, preserve and increase the eternal ideals of goodness, love, the value of human life, fidelity of spouses, which are sometimes so few in our world.

IN modern world The traditional concept of the family has undergone significant changes. These changes affected the structure of the family way of life. Increasingly, families are turning to psychologists for help, which contribute to the awareness and acceptance of responsibility for the creation, development and preservation of family and marriage relations.

In the Republic of Sakha (Yakutia) within the framework of the state program "Social support of citizens and family policy in the Republic of Sakha (Yakutia) for 2012-2016" in the department of the Civil Registry Office under the Government of the Republic of Sakha (Yakutsk) for the city of Yakutsk No. 1, a “Family Psychological Support Service” was opened, the purpose of which is psychological support for young families. The tasks of the service include psycho-correctional, rehabilitation, consultative, psychological support for young families.

Thanks to the family way of life, the family functions in an interconnected manner, providing support and support to each other. The successful functioning of the family is very important for the state, since the family is the support of the state. The social environment influences the formation of family life, moreover, it leaves an imprint on family activities and intra-family relations. The psychological, content and semantic aspects of the family structure make up the value orientations of family members. Achieving harmony in the family way of life is possible subject to the maturity of the individual, the coincidence of value orientations and the psychological compatibility of the couple. The nature of the relationship between the family structure and indicators of marital compatibility is very important.

The basis of the theoretical concept of family life is family ties, family activities and family values. The concept of "family way of life" includes nine components: the material and object environment of the house, intra-family activities, hospitality, social openness of the family, the hierarchy of intra-family ties, family attitudes, interpersonal relationships, family orders, family atmosphere.

From the point of view of social psychology, the family structure is a historically established set of stable relationships of family members. Thanks to him, the integrity of the family is ensured, the continuity of values ​​​​and behavioral patterns is achieved.

The consolidation of moral guidelines and family traditions is carried out precisely thanks to the family way of life, which is the basis for the formation of self-awareness of the younger generation. For the full development of the family, it is important to take into account the aspects of the psychological compatibility of the spouses. The analysis revealed three types of family structure. The first type of way of life is characterized by ties between generations; it is focused on the development of external family ties. The second type of way of life is characterized by an orientation towards the development of material and spiritual activities; it is characterized by a trusting family atmosphere. The third type of family structure is aimed at the development of intra-family relations, it is characterized by the manifestation of empathy and support.

Despite the proximity, it is necessary to distinguish between such concepts as “family way of life”, “family lifestyle”. The concept of family structure is associated with the concepts of "socio-economic structure" and "psychological warehouse of the individual." The socio-psychological model of the family structure is a theoretical model that reveals the family structure as a set of stable relationships that are realized in the social environment of family life, family activities and intra-family relations. Three components of the family way of life: hospitality, intra-family communication and family atmosphere are of particular interest. They reflect aspects that are structure-forming at the present stage of the life of the families surveyed.

A typical family structure is characterized by the unity of perception of all aspects of family life, and the revealed differences between husbands and wives in value orientations are due to gender roles. For husbands, it is more important to feel their demand, independence. If childhood did not take place in urban, but in rural areas, the index of family way of life “connections with the immediate social environment” (relations with neighbors, as well as openness to new acquaintances) is very high. This is due to the fact that rural families are characterized by close contacts with neighbors. Thus, they are more adapted to expanding the circle of acquaintances than city dwellers.

Different types of family structure are dominated by a different orientation towards the social environment of family life, either towards family activities or intra-family relations. A way of life focused on the development of intra-family ties is designed to minimize conflict relations. If there is a trusting relationship in the family, then there will be no tendency to erect boundaries. During the formation of a personality in conditions of stable disunity in value orientations, such aspects of interpersonal relations as the ability to make friends, to experience deep attachment to another person turn out to be relatively insignificant.

It is very important for a family to spend leisure time together, this helps to strengthen intra-family ties. If there is a wide variety of family activities in the family, then the family is characterized by the presence of mobile intra-family and extra-family boundaries. Such families and children brought up in them are more open to new acquaintances, new activities, gaining new knowledge and new experience. While families in which there is no joint activity are not ready to expand ties.

The family structure is characterized by the presence of boundaries. What is permissible in one family may be completely unacceptable in another. That is, boundaries can be rigid or flexible. Spatial and social boundaries in the family as a consequence reduce the number of unifying activities, do not develop a culture of hospitality, have little to no continuity in generations, often have conflicts, and are characterized by the absence or low diversity of common family activities. Such a way of life can further form in the individual the leveling of the family as a value, the rejection of the framework of behavior), the desire to satisfy one's needs as a priority.

After analyzing the various aspects of the family way of life, we can conclude that they are the criteria for its description and analysis. The family structure is characterized by a set of stable relationships of family members both with each other and with the wider social whole. Its task is to transmit cultural meanings, moral values ​​and guidelines, patterns of behavior, significant meanings of culture, values, ideals and behavioral patterns through generations. The components of the family structure influence the formation of a prosperous internal state of the family.

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Family way

The noble family at all times had a certain, traditional way of life, regulated at the legislative level.

We have already briefly reviewed these regulations, and now it is the turn to look at the noble family through the eyes of its members.

For this purpose, I have selected sources of personal origin, namely the diaries and memoirs of the nobles, covering both the first and second half of the XIX century.

Family way is a style of family behavior. The family structure depends on the position of the family, its class affiliation and the level of well-being. The family way of life is the rhythm of family life, the dynamics of its development, the stability of spiritual and moral principles, the psychological climate, and emotional well-being.

What were common features noble family life?

In the first half XIX centuries in the noble family dominated: patriarchy and hierarchy.

The father has always been recognized as the head of the family - through whose efforts the family lived, provided in many respects precisely by his efforts in financial and moral relations.

In the notes of P. I. Golubev, a St. Petersburg official of the 30s, we find that he served diligently, and brought all the means and favors to the family. He called his wife “you” and by name and patronymic, she, in turn, treated him with respect and followed him everywhere.

At that time, while he disappeared in the service, his wife took care of the house and children.

They had two children - a boy and a girl. As P.I. Golubev:

“I worked only with my son, my mother with her daughter.” In the evenings, the family liked to arrange conversations, they also went to church, diligently invested their strength and resources in the future life of their children - their son was given a university education, their daughter was married.

The division of the family into male and female hierarchies can be traced in women's memoirs. M.S. Nikolev and A.Ya. Butkovskaya in her memoirs constantly mention that their social circle was always either sisters, or cousins, or numerous aunts and acquaintances of their mothers, mothers-in-law, etc. In the family home or at a party, the rooms allotted to them always meant "the female half" and were distant from the men's quarters.

But this does not mean at all that they avoided male relatives, brothers and cousins ​​also made up their circle of friends, but to the smallest extent. It's all about the role of men - they were engaged in business, or were absent on duty. Brothers M.S. Nikolaeva spent quite a long time away from her family, as they were in the army and fought against the French. A similar situation developed with other relatives of Nikolaeva. Here is what she writes about her aunt's son, cousin Pyotr Protopopov:

“Peter Sergeevich, having spent 30 years in the service, lost the habit of female society and therefore seemed like a savage and an original. Until the age of 45, he only occasionally ran into his family for a short time. “The second brother, Nikolai Sergeevich, served in St. Petersburg at the ministry, was devout, belonged to the Masonic lodge, and rarely visited his parents.”

After the death of her husband A.Ya. Butkovskaya wrote:

“In 1848, my husband, who held the rank of engineer lieutenant general as director of the naval Construction Department, suddenly died of apoplexy. Of course, in the past years we also had heavy family losses, but this event was especially sensitive to me, and completely changed my life.

I retired to my estate and began to take less part in public life. In the Hungarian campaign, the eastern war, two of my sons were in the active troops, and I was involuntarily interested in the course of military events.

Young women, unlike their male relatives, were almost always under the shadow of their parents' house, in the care of their mother, or older relatives or companions, nannies, governesses. And only after marriage did they throw off such severe shackles of excessive guardianship, although they passed under the wing of the mother-in-law or relatives of the spouse.

Patriarchy in relation to women had its own exceptions to the rules. If a man is the head of the family, then after his death this headship passed, as a rule, to his widow, or to his eldest son, if he was not employed in the service.

“More free was the behavior of widows, who were entrusted with the duties of the status of the head of the family. Sometimes, having transferred actual control to their son, they were satisfied with the role of the symbolic head of the family. For example, the Moscow governor-general Prince D.V. Golitsyn, even in small things, should ask for the blessing of his mother Natalya Petrovna, who continued to see a minor child in the sixty-year-old military leader.

Apart from the role of the wife, the role of the mother was considered the most important. However, after the birth of a child, a distance immediately arose between him and his mother. This originated from the very first days of a baby's life, when, for reasons of decency, the mother did not dare to breastfeed her child, this duty fell on the shoulders of the nurse.

P.I. Golubev, wrote that because of the custom of weaning a child from the mother's breast, he and his wife lost two babies. The first daughter died from improper feeding while they were looking for a nurse, the second son died, having contracted a disease from his nurse.

Taught by bitter experience, they departed from the custom and, contrary to decorum, his wife herself fed the subsequent children, thanks to which they remained alive.

But the custom of weaning children from their mother's breasts persisted until the end of the 19th century.

Cooling to the child, as a person, was determined by his social role in the future. The son was estranged from his mother, as he was prepared to serve the motherland and the range of his interests, occupations, acquaintances, was in her jurisdiction only until he was seven years old, then he went to his father. The mother could only follow the progress of her son. The girl was seen as a future wife and mother, and this resulted in a special attitude of the family towards her - they tried to make an ideal out of her.

V.N. Karpov wrote in his memoirs:

“In those years, the “women's question” (the question of changing the role of women, including in the family) did not exist at all. A girl was born into the world - and the task of her life was simple and not difficult. The girl grew and developed in order to bloom at the age of seventeen with a lush flower and get married.

From this follows another characteristic feature of the noble, family way of the first half. XIX century - this is a chilled relationship between children and parents. The generally recognized goal of the family is to prepare their children for the service of the fatherland or the spouse's family. For this purpose, the relationship between parents and children was built. Duty to society became more important than parental feelings.

In the families of wealthy nobles, leading a secular lifestyle, where spouses were found either at court, or the spouse held a high-ranking position, and at all, dates with children became a rare occurrence. Such children remained either in the care of nannies, or went to prestigious educational boarding schools.

A. Kh. Benckendorff writes in his memoirs about how his parents (his father is a prime minister, his mother is a former courtier) first sent him to a boarding school in Prussia, then, dissatisfied with his academic success, sent him to a private boarding school already in St. Petersburg. In his youth, he remained in the care of his father's relatives:

“I lived with my uncle, my father's brother; my aunt - an excellent woman - took all the care of me personally.

The practice of transferring care of one's child to relatives was quite common among the nobility. This happened for various reasons - orphanhood, social life, or the plight of parents.

M.S. Nikoleva described the following incident in her aunt's family:

“Among the relatives of the Protopopovs was a certain Kutuzov with nine daughters and a son. The daughters were all good-looking. The mother, a capricious, self-willed woman, left a widow, did not love one of her daughters, Sofya Dmitrievna, and did not give her shelter, except for the girl's, where, in the company of servants, she sat at the window and knitted a stocking. My aunt, seeing the mother's dislike for the child, took her to her house. The cousins ​​fell in love with her very much, they began to teach, each of which they could ...

When brother Peter retired, he found Sonechka, 15, who had been living in his family for years, like his own ...

Her mother completely forgot her and did not see her, so even after the death of her aunt she remained in the house of the Protopopovs.

It can be concluded that in the period of time we are considering, the essence of noble children consisted in the inevitable service in the social hierarchy. Patriarchy dictated what unwanted and unworthy of special attention the child's emotions should be suppressed. "Not a single emotion - fear, pity, even maternal love - were considered reliable leaders in education"

Therefore, the marriage between the nobles was concluded, both for love and for convenience. The fact that marriage is controlled by parents, guided only by practical advantage, and not by the feelings of their children, was unchanged. Hence the early marriages of girls with men two or even three times older.

K.D. Ikskul in "The Marriage of My Grandfather" gives the age of the groom at twenty-nine, and the bride at twelve.

M.S. Nikoleva writes that her cousin Peter, out of strong love, married their mother’s pupil Sofya, who was only fifteen years old, he was twice as old.

AND I. Butkovskaya, in her "stories", describes how her thirteen-year-old sister became the wife of the chief prosecutor, who was forty-five years old.

In the noble culture, marriage was considered a natural need, and was one of the semantic structures of life. A celibate life was condemned in society, they looked at it as an inferiority.

Parents, especially mothers, approached with all responsibility the upbringing of their daughter, both in matters of behavior and in matters of marriage.

Countess Varvara Nikolaevna Golovina wrote in her memoirs about her daughter Praskovya Nikolaevna:

“My eldest daughter at that time was almost nineteen years old, and she began to go out into the world ...

Her tender and sensitive affection for me protected her from the passions so characteristic of youth. Outwardly, she was not particularly attractive, was not distinguished by either beauty or grace, and could not inspire a dangerous feeling, and firm convictions of morality protected her from everything that could harm her.

Countess M.F. Kamenskaya, recalling her cousin Varenka, wrote:

“I loved Varenka very much, and we were very friendly with her for many years in a row, but I didn’t like the shy, distrustful manner of my aunt in dealing with her daughter. Ekaterina Vasilievna kept Varenka close to her as if on a string, didn’t let go a step away from her, didn’t allow anyone to speak freely with anyone, and didn’t stop training her in a high-society manner for days on end.

E.A. Gan described in her work "The Court of Light" the whole essence of a woman in marriage:

“God gave a woman a wonderful destiny, although not as glorious, not as loud as he indicated to a man - a destiny to be a household penate, a comforter to a chosen friend, a mother to his children, to live the life of loved ones and march with a proud brow and a bright soul to the end of a useful existence. »

If the attitude of a woman to marriage changed, then for men it remained unchanged throughout the entire XIX century. A man started a family in order to find heirs and a mistress, a cordial friend or a good adviser.

The fate of Lieutenant General Pavel Petrovich Lansky is noteworthy. The first marriage was concluded by him in 1831 with the ex-wife of a colleague, Nadezhda Nikolaevna Maslova. Lansky's mother was categorically against this union and after the wedding she broke off relations with her son. And already ten years later, having given birth to two children, the dearest wife ran away from him, with her lover to Europe. It is known that the divorce proceedings dragged on for about twenty years. And having become free, Pavel Petrovich marries a second time to a poor relative of his ex-wife, the elderly Evdokia Vasilievna Maslova. The motive for the marriage was the noble heart of Lansky, who wished to brighten up the loneliness of the old maid.

A.S. Pushkin, in a letter to Pletnev, wrote after his marriage to Natalia Nikolaevna Goncharova, the famous lines:

“I am married and happy; my only desire is that nothing in my life has changed - I can’t wait for the best. This state is so new to me that it seems I have been reborn.”

No less eloquently described his feelings in connection with the marriage of A. Kh. Benckendorff:

“Finally, nothing more interfered with my plans to marry, I had time to think them over well during those eight months while I was separated from my betrothed. I hesitated often, the fear of losing the freedom to choose the love I used to enjoy, the fear of causing misfortune to a wonderful woman whom I respected as much as I loved, doubts that I possessed the qualities required of a faithful and reasonable husband - all this was frightening. me and wrestled in my head with the feelings of my heart. However, a decision had to be made. My indecision was explained only by the fear of doing harm or compromising a woman whose seductive image followed me along with the dream of happiness.

“Too two weeks have passed that I have not written to you, my faithful friend,” wrote I.I. Pushchin to his wife.

“My hearty friend” - they addressed their wives in letters, S.P. Trubetskoy and I.I. Pushchin.

If you do not take into account matters of the heart, then for a man it is a family, which is also a very expensive matter, since it required considerable material investments. He had to provide his wife and children with shelter, food, clothing and proper surroundings. That was his duty, in the eyes of society.

Therefore, parents always preferred a wealthy candidate with a good reputation.

M.A. Kretschmer in his memoirs just describes a similar incident that happened to his father and mother in his youth:

“... I got acquainted with my mother's family, people of a good family name, Massalsky, and, moreover, very rich. This family had two sons and three daughters; two of them are married, the third is my mother, a girl of 16 years old, with whom my father fell in love and who answered him the same way. My father planned to marry, but since he led the most wasteful and not entirely laudable life in Krakow, my mother's parents flatly refused him.

Relations in the family were rarely built on mutual respect, they mainly relied on the subordination of the younger to the elders and the veneration of these very elders.

The eldest in the family was the father, followed by the mother, we must not forget about the authority of grandparents, aunts and uncles, as well as godparents, but the younger ones were always children. The disposition of the fate of children in the hands of irresponsible fathers turned into nightmarish realities, so colorfully picked up by writers.

And if men had at least some chance to deviate from parental care - to enter the service, leave their father's home for training, then girls in the first half XIX century, there was no such chance. Until the last, they remained in the care of their parents and did not dare to oppose their will, and sometimes sacrificed their personal lives out of deep devotion to their relatives.

M.S. Nikoleva even describes two cases in the family of her relatives, the Protopopovs:

“The Protopopov brothers were, of course, at war; Of the men, only my father and a sick uncle remained with us, with whom, besides his wife, the eldest daughter Alexander was inseparable. She did not leave her father day or night, and if she went out for a minute, the patient would begin to cry like a child. This went on for many years, and my poor cousin did not see youth (uncle died when she was already thirty-five years old) ”

“Of the five Protopopov sisters, not one married; although the appropriate suitors were coming up, they preferred not to part and live together as one family, and when Pyotr Sergeevich (their brother - approx. S.S.), being a retired colonel, got married, they devoted themselves to raising his children "

The family structure of a noble family was built not only on patriarchal foundations, but also on respect for traditions. So any self-respecting family attended church, was distinguished by religiosity, arranged family celebrations and gatherings, and also quite often visited relatives living far away, staying at those guests for months.

Patriarchy, hierarchy, traditionalism, submission to elders and authorities, the sanctity of marriage and family ties - this is what formed the intra-family relations of the nobility in the first half XIX century. The dominance of duty prevailed over feelings, parental authority was unshakable, like that of a spouse.

But what happens to family life in the second half 19th century?

The memoirs of the nobleman S.E. Trubetskoy vividly depict this junction at the turn of the generational change:

“Father and mother, grandfathers and grandmothers were for us in childhood not only sources and centers of love and untouchable authority; they were surrounded in our eyes by some kind of halo, which is not familiar to the new generation. We, children, have always seen that our parents, our grandfathers, not only ourselves, but also many other people, primarily numerous household members, are treated with respect ...

Our fathers and grandfathers were in our children's eyes both patriarchs and family monarchs, and mothers and grandmothers were family queens.

From the second half XIX centuries, a number of innovations penetrate the noble family. The role and authority of women increased, the search for new, profitable sources of livelihood, new views on marriage and children developed, humanism penetrated the sphere of family relations.

Natalya Goncharova-Lanskaya (widow of A.S. Pushkin), in a letter to her second husband, writes about the marital fate of her daughters:

“As for giving them in marriage, we are more prudent in this respect than you think. I completely rely on the will of God, but would it be a crime on my part to think about their happiness. There is no doubt that one can be happy without being married, but that would mean missing one's calling...

By the way, I prepared them for the idea that marriage is not so easy to do and that it is impossible to look at it as a game and connect it with the idea of ​​freedom. She said that marriage is a serious obligation, and one must be very careful in choosing.”

Noble women began to actively engage in the upbringing and education of their daughters, to encourage them to move away from the traditionally destined role of a wife, closed in an environment of family relations, aroused in them an interest in social and political life, and instilled in their daughters a sense of personality and independence.

As far as parenting in general is concerned, society has come out in favor of

partnership, humane relations between parents and children.

The child began to be seen as a person. Corporal punishment began to be condemned and prohibited.

O. P. Verkhovskaya wrote in her memoirs:

“The children no longer experienced the former fear of their father. No roses

there were no punishments, let alone torture. Obviously, the serf reform had an impact on the upbringing of children.”

Relations between spouses began to acquire an egalitarian character, that is, based not on subordination, but on equality.

However, the old generation, brought up in patriarchal traditions, went into conflict with the new generation - their own children, who adopted advanced European ideas:

“... during this period of time, from the beginning of the 60s to the beginning of the 70s, all the intelligent strata of Russian society were occupied with only one issue: family discord between the old and the young. What noble family you don’t ask about at that time, you will hear the same thing about everyone:

parents quarreled with children. And not because of any material, material reasons, quarrels arose, but only because of questions of a purely theoretical, abstract nature.

Freedom of choice influenced the foundations of the noble society - the number of divorces and unequal marriages increased. During this period, women have the opportunity to marry at their own discretion, which was quite often used by noblewomen as a means of achieving independence within the framework of a fictitious marriage.

Marriage gave girls the opportunity to get out of parental care, travel abroad, lead the desired life, without being burdened by marital responsibilities.

Dvoryanka E.I. Zhukovskaya, in her memoirs, notes that both she and her sister got married by calculation, wanting to escape from the care of their parents, but did not live with their husbands.

According to the intra-family structure, relations between spouses could be classified into three types - along with the still dominant "old noble family", a "new ideological noble family" based on the ideas of humanism, and a "new practical noble family" practicing egalitarianism appear.

The crisis of the contradiction of generations also gave rise to three types of parental attitudes - "old parents", "new ideological" and "new practical".

It can be concluded that the second half XIX century is characterized by the crisis of the patriarchal family. The noble family evolves, is divided into "new" and "old". With the modernization of life, new ideological currents shook the traditional foundations, forcing the majority of society in family relations to move away from patriarchal norms.

The nobility served society, and the family was a means to serve the fatherland. The personality of one family member was lower than the family in the hierarchy of values. Ideal throughout XIX century remained self-sacrifice in the name of the interests of the family, especially in matters of love and marriage.

Philosophical Encyclopedia. In 5 vols. M.: Soviet Encyclopedia. Edited by F. V. Konstantinov. M, 1960-1970. Internet portal of dictionaries [electronic resource]: http://www.gramota.ru/slovari/online/

Golubev P.I. Notes of a St. Petersburg official of the old time (Peter Ivanovich Golubev) // Russian archive, 1896. - Book. 1. - Issue. 3. - S. 422

Golubev P.I. Decree. Op. / / Russian archive, 1896. - Book. 2. - Issue. 5. - P.90.

Ibid - p.97

Golubev P.I. Decree. Op. / / Russian archive, 1896. - Book. 2. - Issue. 5. - P.101

Nikoleva M.S. Memoirs of Maria Sergeevna Nikoleva // Russian archive, 1893. - Book. 3. - Issue. 9. - P. 107-120 / / Butkovskaya A. Grandmother's stories // Historical Bulletin, 1884. - T. 18. - No. 12. - P. 594-631.

Nikoleva M.S. Memoirs of Maria Sergeevna Nikoleva // Russian archive, 1893. - Book. 3. - Issue. 9. - p. 118